Stepford boys

Dr. Phil, you're keeping secrets from me. I thought we had an open honest relationship. I've entrusted my personal life to you. Now I hear on the Today Show that I could be a Cougar woman, and not just sitting around waiting for your help. Cougar women who are you ? Where are you? Are you in caves out west? A wild, feral group hunting and feeding on unsuspecting deer, bighorn sheep and cattle? Why haven't I heard about you until recently? How did I miss this phenomenon? I've heard of the "Cat Woman" Jocelyn Wildenstein, albeit her moniker is only attributed to the physical similarities. God knows why anyone would want to look like a feline. The last popular cat I can remember was Felix. She obviously has issues. And unconscionable doctors. Now there is a new kind of big cat, the Cougar woman has arrived, and I say what took you so long?

Ladies, I've done a little research, it appears you're Googleable; good work in so little time. You're between the ages of 30 - 50 , financially independent, successful, confident, motivated, love your life, and self. Nice. Are you having a membership drive? I especially like your "prey"; no bighorn sheep, cattle or deer but men at least ten years younger. I've thought about a diet of these men, but I'm not adventurous about my cuisine (for reasons I'll explain in the next paragraph). I'm curious why this is news worthy, afterall men have preyed on younger women for years and they're called lucky, not some form of wild mountain cat. Or in barnyard terminology, why isn't what's good for the goose , good for the gander? Apparently younger men are more energetic, fun, and trainable. The "ah hah " word is TRAINABLE. Too time consuming for me. I'm the sort who always wonders when I get a new puppy, why I just didn't buy a year old dog. No muss , no fuss, they sit, stay and don't go on the rug. I like this in a man also.

I dated twelve years younger and "trainable" once. He had all those good puppy qualities: cute, playful,energetic, youthful enthusiasm,and stared adoringly at me . So what could be wrong? He never read one play by William Shakespeare, one book by Hemingway,or F.Scott Fitzgerald, stared vacantly at me when I mentioned Hunter Thompson , no less William Burroughs, no "Catcher in the Rye" in his personal history,or "Annie Hall", "Easy Rider" Vietnam War, Watergate, knowing exactly where you were when Kennedy was shot , or ever forgetting the 1968 Democratic National convention . These are a few of my landmarks, and they're not trainable they are the sum total of a life.

So Cougar Women, I am proud of you regardless of my proclivities. Your fierce independence , financial success, and self confidence gives me pause. Why shouldn't you have choices ladies, you have earned them. If you want young men, they're lucky to have you. As for me , I have less patience, I want the already trained. It would be nice however, if they came with a book of operating instructions.