Wednesday, February 20, 2019


Oh no another harsh midlife realization; some things never change.  Btw, I have no idea if I am in mid or late life.  It gets increasingly confusing as mortality rates fluctuate, but I insist on calling myself “mid”.  Regardless, I am still a bar loser. In my twenties I made the mistake of going out to bars with my blond girlfriends.This was definitely a lose lose situation for my brown hair.  Clairol had it right when they declared blonds have more fun. Yes, they do and get a hell of a lot more action as not one head ever turned my brunette way.  Bringing reading material was my default activity. I finished a lot of books in bars. I gave up and got a dog.

Fast forward two marriages and multiple failed attempts at dating sites later I decided to venture out to a bar alone to see if times had changed re: hair color. No blonds to get in the way now.  I also brought a book. I was in Palm Desert, Ca where almost everyone is over 60 so I knew I wasn't up against fab, hot twenty-somethings.  Me, my book and my ego sat down at the bar.  I placed the book on my lap like a  security blanket and ordered a glass of Chianti.  There was a nice looking man sitting alone on my left.  If not now when?!  And this was definitely my moment as he was watching a college basketball game on the overhead TV. Coincidentally I am a college basketball savant!  It was like a perfect wave.

 I had a great opening line about the college rankings and although he answered my question there was no ensuing conversation.  Brave and confident in my knowledge I tried again and even switched my focus to the NBA. He was politely monosyllabic. I was a little dumbstruck as what man doesn't want to talk sports?  It was my ace in the hole subject with the male species.  I dazzled with my acumen and in this regard my brown hair never held me back. Hold on a sec! The man on my left suddenly seemed to perk up.

 A blond walked in the bar.