I miss Betty Ford

Betty! Betty Ford! You need to come back. You left too soon. There are more addicts you can help. A kind you never dreamed of, beyond your wildest imagination about addiction. There are no outward symptoms: no stumbling, no needle marks, no reckless driving charges, no slurring of words, nodding of heads, or glazed over eyes. Betty, did you know Dr. Phil? I digress, back to my topic. They are men, women, divorced, widowed, short, tall, thin, heavy, young, old, have a propensity to speak in adjectives ,(caring, sharing, loving, giving,) and lastly yet most importantly endlessly looking for that perfect person. This is our addict Betty. They're internet dating junkies.

It's true, come on now admit it....and don't worry I'm not suggesting you unplug your computers, pull the needle out of your vein, after all Dr. Phil needs the endorsement income and he has a great smile, doesn't he? He'd be cranky and pissed off however, to think you're all looking for a perfect person, who BTW doesn't exist. Hey, I'm including myself in this drug addled group, so don't get defensive. Betty, here are the symptoms as far as I can determine: continuous running to the computer to see if anyone has "winked" or emailed you, continuous running to the computer to see if anyone has returned your "wink" or email, continuous sitting at the computer rummaging through profiles to see if by chance you missed one of interest, running home to the computer after an internet date to see if there's someone just a little better looking, taller, shorter, thinner, funnier, sexier, richer, smarter...GET THE PICTURE? There is not as much running involved if you have a Blackberry, regardless, this is insanity, but I'll be kind and label it addiction. Why isn't anyone the right person? Not one single solitary person is good enough for ya?

I'll be honest, a couple of men I've met were absolutely good enough for me. I turned off my computer cold turkey and dated them thinking perhaps I got lucky. Well I may have pulled the needle out of my arm but they were still mainlining and it was only a matter of time until another "profile" lured them away. I'm sure I can be a big pain in the ass at times, or spoiled , or cranky, or demanding, but let's dig deep here and admit WE ALL CAN. For God's sake it's only your mother who thinks otherwise! Betty, what can be done? Is there room for this new addict at your clinic? Should we pack our bags, bravely and a little sweaty leave the Blackberrys and laptops behind and check in? Perhaps AA could help; the 21st century 12 step program for internet dating addiction. Is anyone willing to confess ? Stand up in front of a group and admit they're perfect but no one else is.