Getting to know you

Dear Condi: I just wanted to send a note to wish you luck with your meeetings in Annapolis. I must admit after almost eight years, I still don't feel I know you very well and I think most of the women in America share my sentiments. I remain miffed as to why you have never been on Oprah. Come on now, Maya Angelou has been on more than once and even had a make-over. Or was it Coretta Scott King that had the re-do? At any rate they looked much better. Has Oprah not called? Are you more afraid of Oprah than Dick Cheney? As for the make-over, it's free for starters, can't beat that , and if I can be really honest I think you could use a new "do" and some hipper clothes. Your beauty routine is way too '50s. Shake out the hair a little and walk into those Middle East meetings wearing a pair of Manolos and a Chanel suit, give those misogynists an eyeful as well as an earful.

Another thing that has confused me over the years is your taste in men. I would feel so much better if I knew you had a man of your own and stopped sharing with Laura. And for God's sake what is it you see in that man anyway? You're a well educated woman, don't you just want to slap him when he says "nuculer"?
He sold you out to Donald Rumsfeld, that must have hurt your feelings. Not a good boyfriend thing to do. Do you think they got a "locker room" laugh over it? Now granted he plumped up your resume, as it's pretty hard to get trumped for a job when 2004-2008 reads Secretary of State, but that pesky little war you supported could deter some employers. Condi, I think it's time to find another guy as soon you will all be packing up and moving; long distance relationships rarely work. Do you honestly see yourself cutting down brush the rest of your life and there's still Laura . You might want to try the internet, I'm sure Dr. Phil would help you out on Match.com. I think he would support my make-over suggestion however, so you might want get started on that now.

As I mentioned earlier I really do wish you luck in Maryland. I think it's great that you finally care about a legacy for this White House. I don't think it will completely take my mind off of the Iraq debacle. I am a stickler for the truth, and come on girlfriend you really didn't believe there were WMDs, did you? A nice play setting up Colin Powell however; oh that's right you got his job, I almost forgot. So with little time left, dust off that "roadmap to peace" in the Middle East and maybe when the meetings are over you can ask for directions to New Orleans.