Me and the Prince of Denmark

"To sleep, perchance to dream" hold on there you wacky Prince of Denmark, if you could fall asleep, why can't I? I don't have nearly as much on my mind as you did. Yet night after night, tossing, turning, more tossing, and a few more turns, for God's sake I'm figure skating not falling asleep. This has a high degree of difficulty. I listen to the commercials for sleep aids with the melodious voice over enticing me to try their drug and experience a full night of calming, peaceful, restful sleep. I'm coming, please help me... It's so important to read the directions. Throwing myself on the mercy of my Internist he gave me a prescription. Clutched in my little hand was a bottle of sleep. At about 10:00 I took a pill went into the library to watch the news...fell sound asleep! Except, I wanted to spend the night in my bed not the couch, so I got up. Again I can't emphasize enough the need to read the little white sheet... I got two staggering drunken like steps before I realized walking was a very bad plan but hey I was determined. I was convinced I could make it, but not before I fell into the wall. Ironically I didn't need the pill as I practically knocked myself unconscious.

What happened to the days when I woke up at the crack of noon? Granted I was 17, but I had stress then also....was my blue Villager sweater back from the cleaners, did Roger Sloss like me or Joby, I forgot to finish my algebra homework, did my parents notice the car smelled of cigarettes, I wasn't invited to the Senior Prom yet, and worst of all I had a giant zit on my cheek. Come on those were real sleep busters. Regardless sleep was a piece of cake, lights off, I'm dreaming like the Prince of Denmark. Btw Roger Sloss liked Joby.

I read all the studies, I've tried the herbal route which kept me up the whole freaking night; my kidneys prefer pharmaceuticals. My friend Dave says he pops up wide awake at 3:00 a.m. and without bursting into tears, gets his day going.
Wow Dave, is all I can say. I've tried the hot baths, the hot milk, the no tv or reading in the bedroom, meditation tapes, etc. Tom suggested I try hot sex. Huh?! Why didn't my Internist tell me that? .