Chemistry lesson

Where can I find a science teacher on an emergency basis? I'm desperate. I'm confused. I need a refresher course. Not just any science teacher however. I understood biology, it made sense to me. I loved the word Photosynthesis,it's permanently stuck in my head . I am sad however,because I don't have too many opportunities to use it in a sentence. I have a much more serious science problem. Should I try the yellow pages, or don't those exist anymore? Do we still have phone books? (another subject entirely). Dr. Phil did you ever teach science? How about Mr. Wizard, remember him? I loved that man. I was mesmerized by his experiments. Poof!, liquids appeared from solids, and gases sprung from beekers which floated magically around his head. Nice Mr. Wizard. I remember having a chemistry set. I was hopeless however, the beekers broke, liquids spilled on the floor, my mom got pissed and I never had patience with the directions. But Mr. Wizard I need you more than ever.

I miss chemistry. There's no "POOF!" in my life. Is there a new science I need to learn? I looked up the word "chemistry" on Dictionary .com,( but I believe we still have dictionaries). There it was: 2) Chemical properties, reactions, phenomena 3)The interaction of one personality with another. That's it, the Poof! moment I've lost. It's in the dictionary but gone from my love life. Why? When you turn 50 does romantic exhuberance immediately become rational reasoning ? Will I never look at a man again and feel my heart flicker and my head feel ever so slightly dizzy? At my age if I get dizzy it means I might be having a stroke, and should call an ambulance. Is chemical combustion too much to ask? Is this why men date women half their age? Is chemistry really biology?

If there is a new science I need to learn it . I've gone on what seems like endless dates and nothing happens, no combustion, no poof!, no dizziness, no heart flickers. I queried Nate about whether he believes in chemistry, "sure I do". Except the last time he said he experienced it was 15 years ago. "I don't expect it anymore, and that's ok". Is it ok? Dan thinks, "attraction can change as you get older, it's not necessarily entirely physical. Something else can click." Ok. Michael thinks chemistry is like the side of a vitamin bottle ,a strange analogy but urge him on, "look at how many elements make up the contents." Ok. After all I've excitedly dated chemistry men and six months later happily broken up with them.

It makes me wonder,is it chemistry I long for? Or is it a man with whom I can create history?