"Flow" down you move too fast!

I need "flow". What the f---k is flow? I just heard on tv it's supposed to make me happy . If it's cheaper than therapy, I'm in. Maybe I can get it at Neimans, at least I have a charge. If not there what about "Whole Foods"? They peddle exotic shoots, roots, and berries; they must have flow. Is it some sort of supplement? I'm not feeling particularly chirpy so I can only assume I'm flowless. This sounds very Oprah doesn't it? Hey Oprah got your flow going? Probably not, since I hear you're once again on some "new age" diet/fast thing. No sugar, caffeine, gluten,dairy, animal, or alcohol... whoa girl that's no freaking fun ....lighten up already. You've paraded so many "guru du jour" types in front of the public I can't believe you're still searching for happiness. This gives me pause, but not flow.

I think flowing is hard. Does it involve "mindfullness"? If this is the case I'm screwed. My mind is already stuffed, stuffed, stuffed. Between Hillary, Barack, Bill, the Reverend Wright, and Scott McClellan (btw, nice tell-all Scott) the political portion of my head is bursting. Oh crap and then there's gas prices. Bless you Honda Motor Corp. for my Civic! I bet no one with an SUV feels like flowing (except over a cliff). The war in Iraq has blocked my flow for way too long. Someone get us out of there! Did I mention the sub-prime mortgage crisis as a flow kill? My brain is exploding. Grey matter is everywhere, there's no flow in my world.

I hope this isn't permanent. I'd like to get my flowjo going. Should I call Dr. Phil for an intervention? Or Oprah to see if food group deprivation is cheering her up? I think while I wait for "mindfullness" I'll open the bottle of Cabernet I have sitting on the counter and pour myself a lovely glass of flow .