Trumped again

My heartiest congratulations to Ivana Trump; she's getting married again. That's great news isn't it? Personally I think she can catch Liz in the number of husbands category. I'm totally excited it will be covered exclusively by an "entertainment" show. I hope it's on instead of "Meet the Press" because I could use a time-out from the endless election drama. Shut up already! How much more character bashing can I take? Tim, how about a "roundtable" discussion with Ivana and her bridesmaids? What they're wearing, where they bought the dresses, oh, and how much they cost would really be interesting, wouldn't it? Since I'm a shoe freak, I'd love to get a sneak peak. And will there be copy-downs at the Shoe Discount Warehouse? See how this is so much more fun than General Patraeus's news on Iraq? Enough about how the U.S. housing market is affecting the global economy. I think Ivana's nuptuals could perk us all up.

Although truthfully, if I were her I'd be so nervous about marrying a man 24 years younger. Seriously, how long could it last? He may have diminished eye sight, but he's no dummy. She's a cash cow right? I'm too insecure to walk around with such a boy toy and besides I can't possibly afford one. I think they're really expensive. I forgot he's Italian, I hope she didn't have to buy him in Euros! I'm sure she talked to the "ex" about the financial impact of marrying these little darlings. Oh Ivana what will you do when he stares longingly at women his own age? I think I would just burst into tears. I beg you to resist the temptation of more surgery. I suggest instead you just cut off the boy's allowance.

It's too late for me to save up for a younger man. I'd have to cancel my Blue Cross/Blue Shield policy, which given the conflicting political positions about universal health care would be really bad timing and stupid. There would be no more cable tv , high speed internet , or blond hair. No man, no matter how young is worth grey roots. It wouldn't be long before the "repo" man was loitering around my car, which btw gets very good mileage. On second thought, at this point in history no man is worth 37 miles per gallon. Ivana, be strong and don't spend all your money in this marriage as you may need it to break Liz's record.