Thursday, April 10, 2008

Face down

What are men afraid of? My friend John told me he knows what women fear most. "Really"? Yep ,he insisted that we are terrified of becoming a "BL". I was stumped. Not being fluent in initials I had no idea what he was trying to tell me."Huh"? "Bag lady, women are all terrified of becoming bag ladies". Ok. I can't say I haven't thought about it and then immediately repressed it. I also can't say I haven't joked about the idea with friends and he's right, they've all been women. Shouldn't this be an equal opportunity nightmare? Personally, I think men are terrified of lying on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night clutching their chest with no one around to call an ambulance.

I recently had a man ask me what I would do if I found him face down in the bathroom. What kind of question was that? I'm speculating it's the over 60 replacement to, "will you marry me"? I failed, as my first answer was , " call a travel agent". Men, face down is quick, no muss, no fuss, no agonizing over what belongings will fit in the cart and whether you should relocate to better weather. Thank God I don't have a lot of stuff. Shoes might pose a problem as there is no pair I can live without, especially if I'm in a temperate climate. I could wear my suede Kate Spades year round and those fab little bronze flats with the cute ankle strap. Who am I kidding,the shoes don't make the cut, but the art does. I can't leave my art collection. I'll be the "BL"pushing a cart spilling over with art and a large Cindy Sherman photo rattling along the ground behind me.

I do know what one man is afraid of. He confided in me that he was afraid of "not being loved". Wow. I was stopped in my tracks. That's quite an admission. It made me think... maybe it's not the bathroom floor or the shopping cart after all, it's "NBL".

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Actually there are two things women are afraid of. One is becoming a BL but the other is just being alone. It is with those women that men can literally smell the palpable fear as those women become most aggressive in their hunt for a man...any man.

Dr. Ruth formally known as Viking Jen said...

Last time I saw a man face down on the bathroom floor was because he was so drunk he had to puke, all I could do was make sure he was not going to die of alcohol poison. I would have asked him to marry me, but then again, what was I thinking? He got drunk because he was poor, plus the only reason why I was going to propose was to make him feel ‘wanted’. Poor guy, I don't even know his name, I just know he needed help, God knows I’ve been there before.