One meatball

I can buy one thing. Or nothing. Nada. Zippo. My mother can't. She has never walked out of a store empty handed. Never. I've seen her get as far as the door without a purchase. "Go Mom, go, keep walking, don't look from side to side, don't look back, you're almost out ...." Oh no, a sale rack has caught her eye. She's turning around. "No! Don't touch anything. Put the blouse down". She's trying it on. Good, too small. Crap, she's buying it anyway. Is this a genetic malfunction? Is there a 12 step program or vaccine for Mom? She has closets filled with clothes she's never worn, only visited. My closet has 4 things depending on the season. I wonder if I was adopted.

My ex-husband had a similar genetic tick. I'd sit in the car and wait while he went into Target for toothpaste. Forty five minutes later, he'd return dragging three shopping carts filled to the top. He looked so proud of himself. Wow honey, nice shopping ...for things we don't need . Was it free? I would have felt better thinking he stole it all, at least that's an accomplishment. What was so freaking difficult about plucking one tube of toothpaste off the shelf, paying for it and leaving the store? Never happened. We were doomed.

My goal is to leave a store with nothing. Not even the item I went in for. Now that's a personal best . My sister and I have a special methodology we call , "drive by shopping". It's fast and cheap. With the rising price of gas I might have to cut back a little, but it's still less expensive than going in. And yes, I'm not very well dressed. (See paragraph one re: 4 things in my closet). I'm a firm believer in the one item at a time life style, which is why I can't go to the refrigerator for a snack unless I crave milk. Doritos and salsa sound so much better don't they? Obviously nobody wants to come over. I could use a 12 step program also I guess, although in my case it would be one .