Girls, girls, girls, good news! I heard on the Today Show, the adult entertainment industry is looking for new talent. Wow, career opportunities are sprouting up in the strangest places. Laid off from that cushy mortgage banking job....now you can strip and pole dance your way back to gainful employment. Do you get health insurance along with the pole? Yes, it's true women from corporate America have turned to Gentleman's clubs for job security. I wonder if Harvard business school will teach pole dancing instead of finance until the economy picks up? And crap if I didn't miss my chance, The Foxy Lady Club held a job fair! The competition must have been fierce as 1,500 people showed up. Truthfully, my resume wouldn't stand a chance against an ex asset manager from Goldman Sachs. And then there's my age...and the fact that I would feel sad hearing the words "Leave it on"!
I would have to carefully consider who my target audience would be. Are there clubs specifically for men with cataracts? Or night blindness? How about Octogenarians, don't they have poor eye sight and need a fun place to go? Would a Del Webb community be interested in a strip joint for seniors with... ta da!....senior strippers?! I've got my entrepreneurial thinking cap on. I heard the pay is pretty nice, as much as $1,500 a night; the auto union or Walmart can't promise me that.
Admittedly, and this is tough to admit, I'm a little nervous about wrenching my back pole dancing. I'm kind of a spaz around anything that resembles gym equipment. I fell off the rope in 6th grade and have never quite regained my confidence. "Welcome to Walmart".
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3 comments:
soooooooo funny. i love the cataracts and gym equiptment! i think i can relate too well. tjk
OK OK slow down!!! Don't be too quick to criticize yourself. First you are slim, statuesque and carry yourself well.
You're a runner and your horse is a Hunter/Jumper so you are in excellent shape. And, I have seen you dance at a wedding - a little jerky but the moves are not bad and if a pole was involved it would not have fallen over - unless you hit it with one of your head down rushes.
What we need here is an extremely tight, custom made, flesh colored body suit - complete with hands and feet. That should take care of those little tricks that Mother Nature's oxygenation and harsh detergents have played on your skin.
With dim enough mood lights and given that you don't sprain or snap anything you should get through the dance easily.
If the "Home" replaces the m&ms in the chocolate cake with blue ones at dinner and no pacemakers go off you could do quite well with this second career.
If this does not work we could always go with the Dance of the 7 Veils. We could make the veils of double woven wool and leave them on.
Pole Dancer? Yes it pays really well, but who said that strip joints only have pole dancers? If you are afraid of wrapping yourself in a pole then try lap dancing... Age doesn’t really matter, you are dancing for men, men who have been drinking, who are horny as hell, to men every stripper looks GREAT, no age descrimination there... Ok don't tell the family and I hope your mother is not reading this and if she is, it's ok truth be told I’VE BEEN THERE DONE THAT and yes I made $1500.00 in one week, mind you it was decades ago, I was 25 years old and had a kick ass body, would I do it now? hmmmm ok I've done it sunce then but not for pay, just for one-on-one entertainment, it's fun, I suggest to do your first lap/pole/strip dance in front of your boyfriend, let him be the judge, we don't want you to get fired because you didn't "sliiiide" down the pole in style. If you don't and won't do the pole dancing gig and you feel that your entrepreneurial talent is getting wasted then I have an idea; go to Home Depot or your local hardware store and look for the plumbing aisle, check out their metal poles, buy 10 of them then post them on craigslist and sell them to women who's husbands always dreamed of having his wife strip and dance in the privacy of their own home... You can also sell it as a bundle deal, "buy a pole and get a blow up doll for $299.99 plus shipping and handling" I wonder if “Late night QVC" would let you sell them, you can hire me as your “show and tell girl” I am available to travel 80% of the time, I will relocate, I love to dance, and I’ve been in sales all my life and a slut ¾ of my life so all you need is to run to the shop, buy the hardware, I’ll be your software girl…
I wonder if they would let us sell the product at gun shows, bridal shows, kiosks inside malls etc. OR we can always do a YouTube ad and send it to everyone we know… oh and we can do a mini version and send it to Mattel “Cougar Barbie Pole Dancer” now THAT would sell like crazy don’t you think?… Gotta go, must get 10 $2.00 bills, I can be your first customer
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