HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BARBIE DOLL,HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! I know I'm days late with the song, but I have memory loss. Besides who wants to turn fifty any sooner than they have to? She did get some nice tv coverage of the big event, especially for a plastic blond who has no opinion on the "economic recovery" package. Wow, the girl's getting old, although admitedly I'm older and do not have her perky breasts. Truthfully, blondie and I have very little in common.
First of all let's take a good hard look at her taste in men. A big ixnay in my play book. Ken? No, no, no! Way too preppy and more than likely was gay. As for GI JOE, ick, ick, ick, unless he was going to medical or law school after the Army, which I doubt. He liked his camouflage outfit too much and face it, he could never have supported her thousands of wardrobe changes on a military salary. She was a total fashionista. I must admit little Barbie had an extraordinary career run: flight attendant, nurse, art teacher, life guard, pilot, babysitter, cowgirl, paleontologist (huh?), McDonald's cashier, astronaut etc....wow, there was no rest for the "type A" blond bombshell was there? All I've been so far is an art dealer....not much time to play career catch up ...although Walmart greeter might be in my future.
Fifty has a way of sneaking up , even on a hot teenager like Barbie. Ha ha! And don't think all those years in high heels won't catch up with her... I suggest flats and Dr. Scholl's inserts. It's obvious she's already been to Diane Sawyer's plastic surgeon ...and listen up Barbie, I NEED HIS NAME AND PHONE NUMBER IMMEDIATELY!
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3 comments:
It's OBVIOUS that you do not know much about doll people. First of all no one has ever seen them eat anything. Their clothes are subject to very little wear and tear. When they are in their cars they are pushed around by stupid girl kids so they don't have to purchase gasoline. In other words life for them is very, very inexpensive.
Soooooooo, while I agree with you on Ken's sexual preferences, GI Joe is quite manly and I'll bet he is endowed with a more than adequate digit and does not require male enhancement pills or gels or whatever they are.
That leads into another area of interest - the rather STIFF position and limited movement of the citizens of Dolldum.
Since Barbara only bends at the top of her legs I can only focus on one position and that might get boring for Joe. Too bad Barbie was an only child. Oh - Well.
Plastic surgeon is right all her's needs is a heating iron and a steady hand. I would not be too quick to hire him Gail Maria.
Happy Birthday Barbie!!! I CAN'T AND WILL NEVER STAND YOU BARBIE!!!.... What did my sister see in that skinny, fake boob plastic doll? Her feet, boobs and neck are disproportionate. She is a dumb blond and always keeps that same smirk on her face, was she the guinea pig for Botox? Hmm I think she was...
Ken? heck the 'Gaydar' went off like a choo choo train the first time I saw Ken, he is a closet queen for sure, but back in the 60's, 70's and 80's poor Ken he couldn't come out, he would have lost all his endorsements you know?.....
GI Joe, well he was my favorite, I wanted his clothes.. Anonymous said it right, I think he was well endowed plus I think he was into S&M kinki little boy he was; anyway I wanted to be like G.I Joe, I wanted his camo clothes, his weapons, boots, hats and cars.. Ok so Barbie had the Corvette, WHO CARES! I wanted the jeep, the motorcycle, and I wanted to run away from Barbie, If I was Ken I would have gone Gay too, why was he pushed into being her boyfriend? Was this an arranged marriage? Oh wait! They never got married, Barbie wanted a sugar daddy, I know she did... Ken was smart enough to know that she was a lot of work, too needy and she would have cleaned him out on the divorce... Plus I think Ken is now a Drag queen at a fancy gay establishment in San Francisco,,, Ken?where are you darling, G.I. Joe is Bi!!!
I heard Barbie is now a Cougar, yup it's on youtube, check it out "Barbie Cougar" I think.. That poor frigid biatch, she probably doesn't know what a multiple orgasm is all about and as far as I know and last time I saw her in a box at Toys R Us she had no wrinkles, that lousy, queen from hell.. I need Diane Sawyer's plastic surgeon too Gail because I want him/her to get a hold of Barbie and chop her boobs off, fix her little feet and nake her look like Joan Rivers, That would make my day.. Can you tell that I really didn't like that brat?.. No I wasn't jealous of her or my sister. I never liked blonds, not my type.. Plus add to it her lack of personality and her materialistic attitude towards life... Oh come on Jen Jen she is a doll.. Ok she is a doll but my sister used to make me carry her Barbie
all over town and because of Barbie I lost my G.I Joe.. Come back Joe you little Bisexual bastard...
ahhh I feel better now...I turn 50 next March
Well, well, well... we've been having a bit of fun at Barbie and Ken's expense. I like that.
I never matched GI Joe with Barbie. Odd. Never even thought about it. hmmm...
Okay, when I was a girl I liked Barbie for two reasons: her shoes and her Dream House. I have lots of my own shoes now, but still am envious of that Dream House. (I do, however, have a retro dining room table that is primo Dream House.)
So, I, too celebrated Barbie's 50th and looked back on her life. But more importantly, I think about what she has in store for her. It's hard to go from perky breasts and rock-hard butt to, well, not.
And, now, some years later... I see how those images were just a glimpse into the madness we call menopause... and beyond.
Anyway, I love the post, Gail Marie... and let's get together to celebrate Barbie's birthday each year, shall we?
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