Sunday, March 1, 2009

On the road ...again

So long Palm Springs! Two months flew by. Didn't I just get here all pasty white, sleep deprived, and cranky? Happily, I'm no longer white but a nice wrinkled shade of burnt umber, well rested ,because of the fluffy bedding and good meds, and a lot less irritable ...right?!right?!right?! I did have a nice stretch of low anxiety days, thanks in great part to the sun being out. Ahhhhhhhh light! Oh and no hateful, insidious channel 5 weatherman blabbing on and on about mind numbing, death causing cold. I'll never like that guy. Crap, I have his snarky face in my future. See, the crankiness is sneaking back in and I'm still in the SUN.

I have to admit as much as I love the desert, the bright light can really be a big bummer . I for one do not, I repeat, DO NOT, need to see my face so blindingly clear. Ouch babe! It's downright painful, scary, and depressing to see myself in the mirror in that much light. I had no freaking idea I looked that bad. How come no one told me...in a nice calming voice? No wonder all the women here have made a b-line for the plastic surgeon. One more week and I'd have hightailed it to the nearest guy with a scalpel also. "Here take my money and my face, and hurry"! Although my friend Betsy wisely suggested it's cheaper to just turn down the lights and only look at one small area of your face at a time. Right on!

I hope on my way out of town I see the man on Ramon Road dressed as the Statue of Liberty. It's a great costume. I should really stop and ask him where he got it, what he's promoting and how much he gets paid. I don't look good in such drapey outfits but the greenish blue color would be nice with my eyes, and I could use the cash. I'll miss him. Gotta get on the road , I can't prolonge the inevitable, inevitably. My dreaded North Face ARCTIC parka's in the trunk. Oh God, the words "artic parka" make me cry. I'll get back to you when I stop sobbing.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gail, If you are driving home via Arizona, I will be there. Stop and spend the night. If not, have a safe drive home to the cold.

My Best,

Michele

Dr. Ruth formally known as Viking Jen said...

Ok Gail, take advice from your younger cousin will you?. I'll start from the bottom up (of your blog that is)
1) Don’t cry while you drive, you need to concentrate on the road, if you need to get your frustrations out then hunk the horn, give everyone the finger, no need to use the Kleenex in any other way but to clean the wine you spill on your car seat or just pull over into a truck stop and sit in the diner, you will realize you are the good looking one in the entire crowd.

2) The Statue of liberty guy, HEY! We got one here in almost every other corner, I always wonder the same thing, how much do they make per hour? And is the economy so bad that companies instead of spending money in mail-out advertising they invest in a Statue of Liberty costume and pay a guy minimum wage? The post office will suffer but I will be happy not getting trash mail in my mailbox.

3) The Artic... Why go back then? Why? Why? Move South woman! I know you Mom will give you the Jewish guilt trip however, who cares about what Mom's think? You and I know we do what we want to do and how we want to do it...

4) About bright lights and seeing your face. DON"T! get rid of all the mirrors, except your rear view mirror in your car which should be aiming towards the back window and your face should not be seen my you, and don’t peek, that's called cheating. And I guess my favorite like " if your man tells you that your face looks like a map, tell him to hit the road" that doesn't work when you are the one saying it to your self, although you are hitting the road darling! Stay away from face surgery, look what happened to Michael Jackson, Cher, Joan Rivers, this could happen to you...

5) About the weatherman you detest, have you tried blocking that channel on your TV? It's simple, go to your menu screen, chose "parental Control" and block it baby, BLOCK the idiot!...Don't you hate it when weather man gives you the weather from yesterday? I look at the TV and say, I KNOW, I know it was cold, I was out and about yesterday you dumb piece of old news bastard!

Have a save drive back to chilly Chicago and just remember, March 21 is Spring and we shall sing "Younger than Spring time are you? Sweeter than laughter are you lalalalala la la la am IIIIIII wiiiiith yyyyyyyou!"

And tha-tha-that’s all folks!...

Diane said...

It was fun meeting you in Palm Springs next time you are back in tow. We'll do lunch at Spencer.... Maybe George Clooney will be there, it is his favorite lunch spot in Palm Springs!