Come one, come all! Come on down. I'm a little behind the new trend but it's never too late. All the clothes in my closet are for sale. That's right everything, and not just the nice stuff. It's an "everything must go" blow-out. Clothes for all seasons. And most of them are clean; except my parka, that's a little nasty unless you like horses...oh and yellow labrador retrievers. Ok, forget the parka I have a "dress" down jacket for that special evening out. It's black, it's puffy, it's warm, it has a "North Face" logo....nothing says "I'm special" like a logo...! Tell you what, to make this purchase even better I'll throw in at no extra charge, the slightly dirty mittens that are stuffed in the pockets. You heard it right and you heard it here first.
If you love black, I'm your closet. I have dresses, skirts, sweaters, coats, jackets, belts, t-shirts, and bras all black. Say good-bye to color and come on over. Here's another reason to shop with me and not at some ratty closet on Craig's list....I'm serving cocktails 24/7. Yep, even the champagne you've been craving but too cheap to order. I do however, have a strict "you stain it, you own it" policy. Hate to dress up and looking for something more casual? For one day only I'm willing to part with my old shabby "New York Sports Club" gym shorts and my ripped beyond recognition, 1986 New York Mets World Series t-shirt. Although either item must go to a good home.
To sweeten the sale even further, I will be spraying Estee Lauder's "Beautiful" perfume on the first 50 customers. Hey, if it's good enough for Gwenyth Paltrow...besides, then you'll get that familiar Saks feeling and forget you're in a closet. Better hurry, I'm getting a little anxious/sweaty and starting to re-think this incredible offer. Oh, and in your rush to get here, don't forget to bring $$$$.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Wow! It's really dark in your closet. Looks like the walls are some kind of dark wood and with the clothes being all black it's hard to tell where one garment ends and another begins.
Damn! I just went to move something that resembles a mink coat so I could look at another garment and the sleeve fell off. Does that mean I own it. I really don't want to.
Say! One of these parkas just made a smudge mark on my glasses. That was your riding jacket? What ride were you on - journey to the center of the earth?
I didn't see any mittens in the pockets but there was a dozen gum wrappers and a three month supply of used facial tissues. How much for them?
Most of the stuff is too small for me but it's OK cross dressers have a tough time getting clothes to fit.
Lets start with a suggestion, get out of the closet Gail, just because you are not a closet queen but because it's dark, it's small, it's not a good place to spend an entire day, say no to closets...
So tell me Gail, once you sell everything in your closet, what are you going to wear? Are you going to be in the news as a naked woman who decided to shop for clothes are Wal-Mart or Neimans? I suggest Wal-Mart great sales plus while you are there you can buy more $2.00 wine or are you going to wear your Parka and moon everyone around you? Hmm that would be funny, you can stand on the street, flash everyone and yell “Mama needs new clothes, come buy my old ones, do it NOW… take advantage of my ‘going out of business sale!!!!!!!!!”
Most of your clothes are black and summer is almost here? Who wants to wear black in summer? Not I darling... I do need a black bra, what size are you? How much are you selling it for? Do you mind sharing that info with the world? I do have a concern; you said "most of them are clean" MOST? You mean to tell me that you have dirty clothes hanging in your closet? Now that is weird, no wonder you want to sell! Sell! Sell ! Are you trying to save on laundry expenses and will selling all your clothes pay your monthly rent or just your car payment? And how many cases of wine do you think you will be able to purchase with your earnings?
I know you have always been more of tomboy than a girly girl so some of your clothes might be my style and since my girlfriend took over my closet and now I have no space for new clothes can you provide me with storage? Are you selling hangers? We need hangers as long as they are not wire hangers.
I don't like Estee Lauder's "Beautiful" so please don't aim it my way, you might want to spray the dirty clothes though, however I think I will come shop at your closet just because of the 24/7 cocktails, are they free or is it with purchase of $20.00 or more and do you also provide your shoppers with cookies? Hey maybe some brownies, you know the ones that make you happy.
Are there mirrors in your closet? Fitting rooms? Good light? Any thing that will entice me to take a trip to Chicago and buy “All you can wear for $19.99” oh yes the cocktails. I am on my way, be there tonight, pick me up at the airport please or do you have a limo service pick up? I would love that…
You only take cash? Why? Why can't you accept credit cards? I never carry cash anymore... Credit or debit anyone?
My suggestion is this; sell them on e-bay, craigslist, or any other website, you can sit in front of your computer butt naked, drink all you want, blog all you want and keep the cocktails for yourself, alcohol is expensive, one bottle of cheap vodka is $10.00, I will need at least 2 of those…Can we barter? I’ll trade you my bong for 4 jeans, 2 tennis shoes and 2 black bras, that’s if they are my size and if not then we’ll just lock ourselves in your closet and light up that bong, it won’t hurt our budget and we’ll laugh for hours.
I need a new hat, do you have any?
Hey Anonymous, you crack me up!...You are absolutely right cross dressers do have a tough time getting clothes to fit, specially shoes, Gail do you have size 13 and up? I could sell them for you.. Gay Bingo night is in few weeks, believe me, LOTS of Drags go there...Gina Davis’s high heel shoes size 13 1/2 auctioned at a gay event for $17.000.00 and THAT is a true story… I was there, Don't worry I was not the highest bidder, I would NEVER bid for “Come F*&^ me Pumps” Michael Jordan's sneakers yes...Ok maybe not, I don't have the money.
Gail, are you paying attention to this? This is great information you know? You now know if you can cater to the GLBT Community or not. Have you come up with a plan? I still need a hat.. Any hats? Helmet? Kayak gear? What do you have dear?
Viking Jen! COME ON DOWWWWN! YOU ARE the next contestant on the prize is right!!! (Clap everyone)
Post a Comment