The economy getting you down? Feeling sad and longing for the days filled with mocha frappaccinos and soy lattes? Ixnay to those expensive coffee drinks in 2009, to say nothing of the weekly manicure and $10 martini with blue cheese stuffed olives. Oh, how I long for those tasty olives. To make matters more dire, according to my budget it will be 2012 before I can buy anything new to wear. Call it shabby chic or plain old threadbare, I won't be looking too good. Or making my own clothes. Face it, can anyone over 50 see well enough to thread a needle? Last time I tried I had to get a tetnus shot when the bleeding stopped.
But hang on just one second....maybe I will have new clothes before 2012! Could it be? Yes, yes, yes, there on the horizon in giant red letters was my salvation. TARGET! IT'S THE NEW BERGDORFS! Whoa baby, why didn't anyone tell me? The store was packed, shopping carts flying in every direction. Girls, move over and let me at the merchandise! Who knew you could buy a dress for $19.95? Kiss Neiman's good-bye and try on one of these babies. Who cares about the crappy lighting in the hard to find dressing rooms, I'm talkin' under $20. Ok, ok, I admit I burst into tears looking at myself under florescent lights but, I almost bought a dress! Sadly, it would have looked much better on someone 25 but happily, I could have paid cash for it.
Maybe 2009 won't be so bad after all. Frappaccinos are way too fattening, soy lattes are just plain weird, and as for my beloved blue cheese stuffed olives .... how hard can it be to stuff an olive? Besides I've had a tetnus shot.
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4 comments:
Not sure if you can get much under $20 but there is a chain where you can probably get a brand name garment for not much more.
The problem is that you have to find one of their stores in a distant neighborhood. A neighborhood where your friends, or worse your enemies don't go. A different state would insure your anonymity but it's cost prohibitive.
You need a wig (preferably not the color and length of your own hair), different makeup, dark glasses etc. Don't wear a trench coat particularly not in the heat of summer. Go there at night - like 9:35 PM close to closing time.
Case the place, beginning with looking in the windows before you go in and even then be careful - slink a bit - below the rack level.
You still should have enough time to find a dress before you hear "Attention Marshall shoppers. The store is about to close"
leaving one of the p's and one of the c's out of frappuccino doesn't make it cheaper or less caloric. order an americano, add splenda + free skim milk and voila, 1/2 the price, 1/2 the calories. Isaac Mizrahi designs for Target and there is always ebay. you will survive.
You're right Gail Maria...2009 could be much worse. We could have had the Palin gal who wouldn't be caught dead shopping at Target.
Gail, I think I know how to take care of a couple of your problems (oy vei!). Seems you didn’t like your image under florescent lights and at the same time you are looking for a bargain, I got it and here is your solution. first you will have to wait until Spring or Summer however Garage Sales, go to fancy neighborhoods and shop till you drop and you don't have to worry about the lights because you will have sunshine right above you, you will be tan, smiling, shopping! oy! oy! oy!, ok so that idea takes care of both problems for you. Salvation Army or your best friend's closet, those two are cheap and can find “retro chic”, .also have you tried the dollar stores? Oh wait! They don't sell dresses but they have canned olives, 10 cans for $10.00 and when it comes to the stuffing you are on your own on that one, I don't know any stores that sell blue cheese cheap enough to brag about...I am off now, need to make some money cos Mama needs new shoes!
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