Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Blue M&Ms

Mother Nature must be a man. Who else would play this mid-life trick on women? Women lose their sex drive and men get Viagra. I'd like to thank the pharmaceutical industry for their complicity. I'm assuming if any women worked on the miraculous erectile dysfunction drugs they were under 40. Girls, girls, girls, you will live to regret it. I'd also like to thank doctors who are handing these pills out like M&Ms. And last, but not least, hats off to that drag queen Mother Nature, for menopause. Now the world of relationships is on tilt.

Listen carefully midlife boys. ( And btw wasn't the new Porsche enough)? Women do not lose their sex drive on purpose. It's business ,not personal. So don't go stomping around all pissed off and pouty that your wife, significant other or girlfriend is denying you sex to be mean. Looking at some of the middle aged men out there I suggest they deny you food. Women aren't thinking about sex and it's no fault of their own; their hormones are gone, vanished, hasta la bye-bye. Hey pharmaceutical companies how about making hormone replacement drugs that are safe? I personally would like my skin tone back. Did you think I'd say sex life?

My friend Jack called to tell me about an article he read regarding a libido enhancing drug they're working on for older women. Huh? Isn't it possible these women are already happy with their lives? So what if they're not fantasizing about sex. Ironically, my male friends have no interest in having sex with an older woman or even one their age. Well what's a girl to do? Cry? Call a plastic surgeon? How about sex with a younger guy? That sounds like hormone therapy to me and just might perk up the old libido.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh don't go blaming the loss of your libido on Viagra, whether developed by men or women. And, at least in my experience, even the most moribund of female sex drives can be blissfully awakened by a good male lover possessing excellent love making techniques suitable for women of all ages. The bigger issue with some women, that cuts off any hint of a sex drive for now and into the future, is the arrival of those fuzzy little things called grandchildren. For some women that is the absolute end of their sex drive, forever. I mean how can they ever perform fellatio with those same lips that kiss and nibble away at those cute little babies?