Right on, Mom!

Mom's turning 90! Holy crap Mom, how'd you do it? And why after all these years of silence about your age, are you admitting such a big number? Growing up I had no idea how old she was. In fact , I think she had three birth certificates and four drivers licenses all with different dates of birth. Impressed with her craftiness? Oh and btw I don't believe any of those documents were correct. But regardless of this high level of secrecy, she was mortified she'd be found out. I admit my sister and I rummaged through her drawers once for a birth certificate to no avail. We did find $10 however and split it.

Mother came by her deceptive ways honestly as her mother (aka Nana), carried on these covert operations also. My Mom, never knew the exact age of, her Mom. The closest approximation we came to was , when she died she was either 85 or 110 or possibly 93. But Nana had real skills; to completely cover her tracks, she lied about her children's ages also. And like good soldiers they obeyed her orders to nod in agreement. She was a thinker wasn't she? And yes,my Mom carried on this time honored tradition and didn't tell the truth about her daughter's ages either. I've lied for so long I've forgotten the real number, thank the Lord. Besides, I can't count that high.

So why fess up at 90, Mom? She's defied the aging process and could easily hang out at 82 for years to come. There are days I stare at her and think she looks a hell of a lot better than I do. It's pretty depressing. In a blind, "who has the better jaw line" test she'd win hands down. Which only means I have my dad's and burst into tears. She is a walking testimonial to every make-up counter at Neimans, Saks, and Bloomingdales. Although Yves Saint Laurent products have taken on religious significance. If you're lost and looking for something in which to believe apparently there is meaning in a facial mask. Don't let anyone see you however. Mom's worked hard at looking young. I think youth must be tiring after all these years, but she is a fighter. Perhaps this is why she's finally admitting her age, so we can raise her hand in the air and declare her the winner.