Vow of silence

I was panicked . I noticed my breathing grow more shallow. I think the color drained from my already "winter white" cheeks ever closer to cadaverous which is not a good look for me. I tried to take long deep breaths and talk myself away from the window. This was just a symbolic gesture as there was no way I was opening it in 25 degree weather, no less stand on the ledge freezing and indecisive. Spring would be better. It was too early in the day for a drink, as I have a 4:00 rule regardless of how dire the circumstances. I did look longingly at the lovely bottle of red Zin on the the counter however. I found myself praying and making promises to never put myself through this again. I couldn't take this level of fear and anxiety. If I was a stronger person I wouldn't be in this position. I'm weak and have no self control. Maybe there was a Betty Ford program for me. I shuddered at the thought of rehab. What would I wear? I couldn't postpone the inevitable. Once I got it over with I could move on. How bad could it be? What's the worst that could happen?

Nothing! I nearly collapsed from relief. I was saved. I could breathe again. I was granted a reprieve, a "get out of jail for only $122.52 card". I did it. Regardless of my need to talk endlessly, relentlessly on my cell phone I didn't go over my minutes. I was close, way too close . 2,143 minutes which didn't include the 1,841 unlimited nights and weekend minutes, loomed ominously on my bill. Ouch! Who was I talking to and why? I used 143 roll over minutes which leaves me with a reserve of 71 . Oh God, only 71 extra. I need oxygen. I'm teetering on the edge of roll-over bankruptcy. I'm not in control. I have to pull myself together, start talking to the dog more and friends less. I need to take a vow of silence. If a nun can do it, I can. Luckily I only have to be quiet until 7:00p.m. I vow to only talk to people with my carrier AT&T during the day. Please let me know if you're one of them asap.

"Dan, guess what? This is so funny. (I knew I had lighten up the sobering announcement) You're the only person I'm going to call during the day"! "HUH"? was all he choked out. "See, I'm almost out of roll-over minutes and desperately need to replenish my account,so since we have the same carrier, you're it. I'll just be calling you... Dan..., Dan... hello? Are you there?" " Monday I'm switching to Verizon," he mumbled as if talking to himself. "No, no, wait, you can't do that. Stay, please stay". I think I was crying.

I need help. Whoever has AT&T call me.