Where are my glasses? I can't find them anywhere. I've looked in the washing machine and dryer ; who does that? They're not in the dishwasher and why would they be, but I looked there. I ripped apart the couch and only found yellow dog hair. Ugh. I do know where the vacuum is however. I've never used the oven, but I might look there if all else fails. I ravaged my purse four times, as if once wasn't enough proof. They didn't turn up in the box holding my new black suede high heels, but it did make me long for a place to wear them. The refrigerator was a bust but it needs cleaning and food. Ugh again. The garbage can almost made sense . Under the bed, behind the bed, nope, nope. Pockets! That must be it, they're in a pocket. I only concluded I have too many , or can you never have too many? The dog ate them! That was my homework, I forgot. The car, they have to be in the car, of course! Glove compartment, trunk, under the driver's side seat, passenger's side, in the cushions, cupholders, NOTHING except a sticky candy cane. Christmas is over isn't it? I've traced and retraced my steps , peacefully trying to visualize where I last saw them. Who am I kidding, I can't be freaking peaceful, I can't see and even worse, this will cost me money! A friend is at the airport and said he'd look, ok. I haven't been there since September 18th. Maybe he'll look in Florida when he arrives. And they're not in the oven.
Is this THE sign? Is it the defining moment? Has age caught up with me? I had forgotten about becoming forgetful and now I have to sadly admit I forgot...what did I forget?
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Did you check the top of your head? How about the shower? WARNING! The last time I lost my glasses I looked everywhere, I decided to sit down and think where was the last time I had them on, when I sat down I heard a noise and there they were, my glasses were right under my ass, broken, spit in two. I suggest you don't sit down until you find them.
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