Thursday, December 6, 2007

"The horror, the horror"

LISTEN UP SINGLE WOMEN!, especially internet daters. Dr. Phil this includes you, because this is your job , not mine. You're getting endorsement money and I'm just getting nervous and hoarse from screaming in disbelief. I'm going to cut to the chase here ....why are you having sex on the first date???? And why are you inviting strange men to get on an airplane to come visit and stay in your house? What about hotels? Motels? Tents? Come on girls, are you freaking nuts?!!?!? I know for a fact this is true because I hear it from my male friends who are flying around the country to meet you. "You mean you stayed in her house? She just let you, a total stranger off the internet, stay with her?" And my friend Sam answered, "yea". This is where the hoarse voice comes from because I start screaming in horror.

Dr. Phil I simply cannot believe women are this desperate to find a man. They're nice I agree and it sucks to be alone , and sure we all get horney .... but to put yourself in harm's way to solve the, "I want a boyfriend" problem is just bad, bad judgement. And don't give me the lame ass argument that you'd been writing back and forth for days, or weeks or even months. I'm sure Ted Bundy was literate. Oh, you say you'd been talking endlessly on the phone and he was so great and understanding and you had so much in common. I'm sure Ted Bundy was a lovely conversationalist. Now of course I'm using the extreme example, but am I? How do you know? Why, why, would you take this risk? Hey I'm not innocent here, I've had men fly to meet me, but I've never offered my house as an option to a hotel. First of all, if they can't afford a hotel, who wants them anyway? It's a sign you'd be the money earner . Take a pass on this guy immediately. Second of all and really most importantly it implies you're having sex and this is my big "no no". How are you going to feel when he spends the weekend screwing you and then leaves and never calls. I dare you to say "fine".

If you just said "fine" you're lying. Back to Sam and his thousands of air miles. He no sooner leaves after a weekend of fun and sex and his cell phone starts to ring, ring, ring. It's the woman who now assumes she's the new girlfriend. Very bad thinking and planning. Then come the messages on his Blackberry, "why aren't you calling back? " The phone rings again and again and the, "I thought you liked me" emails start. Sure darlin' you were ok, but you're not really his type . He's back on Match.com and I'm still back at "I can't believe she let you stay at her house." I'm not letting men off the hook either. You need to get to know these women before you jump in bed with them. I can''t tell you how many of Sam's little weekend vacays have ended up with women tracking him down for weeks/months and one for over a year via phone and email. Does that sound like fun? Was the sex worth it? Do you like to spend your day screening calls?

I have never ever thought of myself as prudish or old fashioned and it's hard to believe I'm going to say this but before you end up an episode on CSI: Miami, New York, Chicago, Louisville etc.,...get to know someone! If you can make a date on the internet you can make a hotel reservation.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

gail maria: Right on! I don't get it from the man's side of the equation either. And, I've been there. Meet someone for the first time, stay at their house, have sex and then it's "What are we doing for New Year's Eve?" Arghhhh...Never, did I say never, again. But, as I get older, it's more difficult because of the pressure put on by the desparate women you describe. I'm sure it's the fear of being alone that is driving all of the new found sexual energy. But, there are other things in life...like friendship, companionship, activities, cultural events, sports and then you can add in the "shtupping" as a bonus. But, to start with a sexual relationship or even an "at home" visit is a formula for disaster. Ted Bundy is dead by the way, but there are still dead (live) ringers lurking in the shadows.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you and the guy who commented - only feel a bit stronger about it. That's how lousy relationships and marriages are made. She sleeps with you because she wants a relationship, rather than because she wants to. Then when it gets permanent you're is wondering what the hell happened and are told that that was the "in love" part of the relationship and it's over. Now we're in the real relationship and it's not only not about sex, save perhaps the rare and painfully boring episode when she has to, it's about the end of many of the things that you used to like to do. This is due to the fact that she was needy to begin with and now wants all your attention all of the time and, like getting you, she is willing to do anything to get what she wants now - WHICH, again IS NOT SEX.

Anonymous said...

Funny (not) that that nobody has mentioned anything nasty that one can catch by having sex with a stranger.

Having a great telephone voice (and manner) does NOT mean a person is VD-free, or does not have HIV/AIDS.
And all those other STDs count too.