My blog disappeared! I woke up last Friday morning and ZAP, presto chango, hasta la bye-bye, "gonepausal" had morphed into "godaddy". And for God's sake who or what is "godaddy"? Calmly, I got up from my desk...then started running around the house screaming! It felt pro-active. How could this happen? How, how, how? I ran to the mirror to make sure I was still there. Yep, there I was, dark roots, wrinkles and naso-labial folds staring back at me. I really had to find a plastic surgeon once I stopped screaming. Anyone have a recommendation, I'm taking names. But first I had to call someone, anyone to save me! I needed an internet ambulance.
It's an incredible bummer or like a really bad acid trip when you realize THERE ARE NO PHONE NUMBERS IN CYBERSPACE. I teethed on phones: rotary dial, my precious pink push-button Princess phone, 10 lb portable phones, original foot long cellular phones, and now tiny, tiny itsy bitsy cell phones. I'm a person who can't live without a dial tone! The internet doesn't have people to call for help, it has "options" on which to click... and click... and click. I spent the entire freaking day clicking. And crying. I finally figured out I had let my domain name, "gonepausal" expire and it was snatched away. Now Peter someone is "gonepausal". Peter, got hot flashes dude?
I was lost, despondent, and calling a therapist when the letter "Z" saved me. By changing one letter I could be oh so close to my original blog name. Take that pausal Pete! I'm eternally grateful to my sister for being the genius behind "z" and web-guru Airan for attaching my old blog to the new spelling. At the end of a very very long angst filled day I could only conclude...technology has passed me by and I really do need the name of a good plastic surgeon.
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2 comments:
This is, without doubt the absolute funniest blog [or in the olden days - article] that I have read in a bizzilion years! Almost every line is funny.
You should write a book or go on some women's television talk show or run for president. At least when you are running for president and you tell lies people will know that you're doing it to be funny and not to be president like those politicians.
However, on a serious note I must disagree with you about no phone numbers in cyberspace. I haven't found one yet but they are there. When I do it will have a galaxy code, then a planet code, then a country code, then an area code, then a local exchange and then, of course the 27 digit number. That's a 42 digit number and the reason why I suspect no one outside of earth has any fingers left.
Keep it up - keep it up - keep it up.
try Jeff Fenner, MD @ Evanston Hospital
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