Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Economy May Be Sagging, but You Don't Have To!

Who wants to be part of a special "group rate" face lift with me? Oh come on, it will be fun. I'll have everyone over for a "kiss your old face good-bye" party...and yes, I'll pay for the food and alcohol. I just read in the New York Times that with the economy collapsing so is the cash cow business of plastic surgeons and dermatologists. Some of these docs are now running specials. Wow, it's like a big sale at Bloomingdales, or last call at Neimans. Let's go, go, go. If a face lift sounds like too huge a plunge how about all those fun face fillers that are so freaking expensive? A little plump -me- up, before lunch? Or Botox for breakfast? There's a doctor in Duxbury Mass. doing a two-fer; two syringes of filler for the price of one. I just fainted (needle phobia). Well, just pick me up off the floor and fill up those nasty naso-labial folds.

See, economic collapse isn't so bad, if you can get 20% off on cosmetic surgery, right? Even if you don't need any facial work it might be the perfect time to perk up your gravity plagued breasts or tuck the tummy. Sucking in my stomach sure gets exhausting and push up bras can be so damn uncomfortable. I hear opportunity knocking. My mom might want to join us....never too late even at 90 to try and look 80 again. My group offer does not exclude men. Oh, you're out there with those big mid-life stomachs. Listen up, they are not attractive and women do notice! To say nothing of the lines you think reflect "character" or the turkey jowl neck. I say it's time for you too!

Who's in? Let me know asap.

3 comments:

Dr. Ruth formally known as Viking Jen said...

Thank you for the news. I don't think I need a face lift or boob job but I would love to get rid of my glasses. I wonder if Lasik surgeons are running specials 2 for 1 after all I want both eyes fixed. One day I asked a group of people just sitting around to raise their hands if they have Botox and several did. Here is what I have to say, if your man tells you that your face looks like a map, tell him to hit the road!
I am almost 49 years old and people think I look 38 so does that mean that if I have a face lift, Botox lips, Lasik surgery, boob job, butt lift, tummy tuck and get rid of the gray roots do
you think I will look 28? Do I want to look 28 again? Maybe not. Oh and btw I have needle phobia so I think I will pass because hart transplants are not on sale this month. If you find a good deal on Penis Enlargement please let me know, Jim and Mike would love a 2 for 1 deal.

Anonymous said...

Jen Jen is a kick. I love her comments.

I was going to join your "get a new face party" but I found out that for the special price they are all using the same face model. Everyone is coming out looking like everyone else!

Just think of it - I could me sleeping with someone who I think is my wife and it turns out that she is not. She's just a woman who thinks she is sleeping with her husband and in reality she is sleeping with me... her brother.

Holy crap!! What if mom and dad get into it. I don't want to think about it anymore.

Anonymous said...

I would love to host a botox party is that something you can arrange
for Duxbury,ma
Regards,
JenWalshDux@yahoo.com