I did not have sex with Tiger Woods. I'm beginning to feel quite alone. Every day or hour a new chickadee comes out of the woodwork. He's been a busy bee. I don't know if I ever slept with that many people in such a short period of time even in the the early '70s. I hope Mom isn't reading this. I wonder if Tiger would consider an older woman? He doesn't appear to be very discriminating which really must make his wife feel bad. If he had been fooling around with Condi Rice I think Elin and I would agree he was at least trying to challenge himself intellectually or get the inside scoop on W. and the invasion of Iraq. From what I've heard 24/7, he liked big breasted blonds, cocktail waitressess, porn stars, and to frequent Perkins .
Although I'm available I don't fit his profile. For starters no woman over 55 has been mentioned except his mother. I don't have big breasts and don't plan on buying them. This seems to be important. I am blond but only to someone who has cataracts. I like cocktails a lot but have never served one and really don't trust myself not to spill. As for porn star status or aspirations I'd have to say I'm too close to Social Security to risk a new career. Ixnay to Perkins no matter who I might wait on. Sorry Tiger there are too many items on the menu so I would never ever get an order right. I couldn't bear people screaming at me about eggs when they wanted meatloaf. "Eat the damn eggs." I also do not want a job that requires a uniform with a name tag.
It looks like I'm never going to have sex with Tiger. I probably will never play golf either.
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Well well well, look what the Tiger brought home. Or was it home? Do you know how many houses Tiger owns? There has to be a Bachelor pad somewhere out there.
I've had bad times but not bad taste darling and that's one of few reasons I would not have sex with Tiger Woods. Oh another reason the blond hair, I could fix that, I was a blond when I was a child. It's not the big boobs; I've got those and so far no complain from the peanut gallery. I can't talk Golf I can even play.
A big reason is that I just don't like his butt. Yup that's it.. Oh Wait!!! his wife is single!!! and so am I, and she is cute!!! Heck I'll take her, she's got a cute butt and poor thing, she needs someone that cares about her husbands multiple infidelities and understands and listens to her, I am here for youuuu (what's her name?) I'll take soon-to-be Mrs. Woods and her big wallet too... lol and that would be the ONLY reason why I would have sex with Mrs. Woods. Can you call her G and tell her I want to take her dancing and have some fun? Tell her to not forget the credit card, platinum if possible that would be nice... "Crystal anyone? She's paying".
See Gail, problem solved, you don’t have to have sex with Tiger, you just have to come with Mrs. Woods and I and drink anything you want, maybe she has a friends that we can hook you up with, what do you say?
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