8 STATES! I crossed eight states in a car: Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, and at long, long, long last the final destination Washington. Trust me there is no freaking way to make that ride short. No matter how many times I pulled out the map, checked the odometer, or stared at the time it didn't change the fact that it took up a significant portion of the years I have left. And btw I ate more chicken caesar salads than I care to remember. Don't drive across America if you don't eat red meat or long for a lively Sauvignon Blanc at the end of the day. Chicken Caesar salad and Chardonnay all the way to Seattle. And kiss high thread count sheets good-bye also.
What about the scenery? Why didn't I soak in America? Because I was hungry, tired and counting the miles. Wait, hang on just a sec, we did take a detour through the Badlands of South Dakota, which added approx 1 hour to the ride. Crap. And please please please can anyone tell me why they're called the Badlands and cost $$$ to enter? This is disturbing. And do they really need a gift shop? A tornado almost picked up the car outside of Rapid City, which in hindsight might have expedited the trip but at the time made me nervous about winged monkeys and the Lollipop Guild.
Ok, admitedly I didn't sit back and enjoy the ride. Does this make me a bad person? UnAmerican? Someone who needed to be medicated? Don't answer. By Washington all I could think about was a big piece of salmon and a wine list. Instead I got Luis and Andy.....stay tuned.
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Hey Gail. Glad you made it back to Chicago...One thing I guess you know by now is that since you went through Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho and Washington and you didn't come back with a key to a house, apartment or directions to the new was of living called "Tent Cities" none of those states are going to be the place you can hang your hat and call home.. 8 states down 40 something states to go... Keep looking.. Oh skip NY please, too many relatives live there so that would be 9 states to cross of your list, Please don't move to "The Badlands" I don't want to say to people "My cousin lives in The Badlands" oh no no no no I would have to change our cousin status...
About making that ride shorter, sorry honey but your genius cousin here can tell you another way, it's called AIRLINES. yup you can drive to the airport, get on an airplane and let that cute pilot take you to your destination and btw you can also ask for vegetarian meal and the DO have white wine AND you can look at this wonderful country from 30K feet above our wonderful land... I know you've flown before, YOU CAN DO IT.. Yes you can...FLY FLY FLYYYY BABY...
I'm all about road trips, and it makes you VERY American, very patriotic, after all, as the song says "From the mountains, to the prairies, to the oceans white with foooooooam, GO0000000D Bless Americaaaaaa, my home sweet hoooooome" (repeat 2 times) Are you standing up with your hand over your heart? that's a must you will lose 15 points in the patriotic scale if you don’t salute to that song…
I am sure you appreciate my wonderful advice, and now tell me, how was Washington? Would you move there? Was it nice and warm or raining all the time, did you stop at every Starbucks? Did you meet guys? (or at least one named George so you can say “I met George Washington”)
Ok now I must get in my car and drive to 7-11, it’s only 3 blocks away but for you I will take the long way and drive another 12 blocks… Long drive man!...
Glad you made it home and happy that you will now get back to writing your blogs because I was getting really bored and wanted to cut my veins OY VEI!!! GAIL IS BACK YEYYYYYY!... Blog baby blog!
Oh Farrah Fawsett died today.. I loved her hair.. Sad, my favorite Charlies Angel is now gone.. Bosley what are we going to do?...
i love driving through montana, feels and smells like home. Badlands translates into English "bad lands to cross" but very beautiful to look at and, a small point of interest....they were formed by exposure to severe weather patterns, which translates into English "naturally occurring climate change" take that Al Gore!
Hey Anonymous, did you get that from wikipedia or you pulled or you knew that before.. Which ever way, that's good info.. Hope it comes up next time I play Trivia with Al (Gore of course)
Badlands National Park, in southwest South Dakota, United States preserves 244,000 acres (98,740 ha)[1] of sharply eroded buttes, pinnacles, and spires blended with the largest protected mixed grass prairie in the United States.
The Badlands Wilderness protects 64,144 acres (25,958 ha) of the park as a designated wilderness area and is the site of the reintroduction of the black-footed ferret, the most endangered land mammal in North America. Take that Al.. hahaha ok got that from wikipedia but hey I learned something today...
I also figured out that according to google maps, From Dallas TX to South Dakota is 1,011 mi – about 15hours 39 mins and it's 3 hours and 30 minutes if I fly, hmmmm bet Gail would drive it, bet I would fly, too bad I won't get a stamp on my passport, damn it! I love my passport stamped... I would proudly show the BADLANDS SD slapped on page number 8 of my current passport. “see Mr. Customs I am BAD TO THE BONE BABY, I’ve been to the Badlands yeah!”
BTW flights are cheap now... Are they gay bars in Badlands SD?...There must be one somewhere, after all, Gay people are like credit cards, we are everywhere you want to be and we KNOW how to party!!!.
Must go call Al, got to play some trivia with him.. One ringy dingy…. two ringy dingys.. “Al?, yo’my man, it’s Jen Jen, lets play some trivia, I know something about SD you might not know.. Come on down Al, you are the next contestant on “what do you know about SD”… He is on his way, must get the wine and cigars ready (did I mentioned I invited Bill and Monica too? Hilary is busy and can’t join us at the moment, she is playing secretary of state in DC, too bad.. Monica and Bill are just friends now… Ok lets put the drugs down and come back to reality… Just kidding on the drugs thing, I am just bored and I LOVE GAILS BLOG… Her blogs my new addiction…
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