"SURRENDER DOROTHY" ! or how I spent my summer vacay

8 STATES! I crossed eight states in a car: Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, and at long, long, long last the final destination Washington. Trust me there is no freaking way to make that ride short. No matter how many times I pulled out the map, checked the odometer, or stared at the time it didn't change the fact that it took up a significant portion of the years I have left. And btw I ate more chicken caesar salads than I care to remember. Don't drive across America if you don't eat red meat or long for a lively Sauvignon Blanc at the end of the day. Chicken Caesar salad and Chardonnay all the way to Seattle. And kiss high thread count sheets good-bye also.

What about the scenery? Why didn't I soak in America? Because I was hungry, tired and counting the miles. Wait, hang on just a sec, we did take a detour through the Badlands of South Dakota, which added approx 1 hour to the ride. Crap. And please please please can anyone tell me why they're called the Badlands and cost $$$ to enter? This is disturbing. And do they really need a gift shop? A tornado almost picked up the car outside of Rapid City, which in hindsight might have expedited the trip but at the time made me nervous about winged monkeys and the Lollipop Guild.

Ok, admitedly I didn't sit back and enjoy the ride. Does this make me a bad person? UnAmerican? Someone who needed to be medicated? Don't answer. By Washington all I could think about was a big piece of salmon and a wine list. Instead I got Luis and Andy.....stay tuned.