Lordy, Lordy, it was a miracle. It happened, it finally happened! I got a phone call. Big freaking deal? Yes siree, you bet it is. There was a voice on the other end of the phone,and not a text message. It wasn't a "twitter"... or I wasn't "Facebooked" or "Linked In" or "Tagged". And btw, to anyone who "tagged" me - you were DELETED. Although it's a cute name, go away. If you have something to say, use the English language and CALL ME! Remember Alexander Graham Bell? How about "one ringy dingy" or two ringy dingies" and not "you've got mail". I've Twittered away hours, and still have no idea what it means. I have a few followers but I look behind me and no one's there. Are they supposed to come over? I have friends on Facebook, and they write on my "wall" but not very often. Besides, what can you say to a wall? I'm lonely... and desperate for real time conversation.
Than like a dream come true my cell phone rang! "Hello, hello" I gasped in disbelief...IT WAS JANE! "Jane are you really there? Really"?! I burst into tears. I didn't know what to say. I stuttered "Where are you"? Maybe she was "following" me and was in the back seat?! "Hey Gail, I thought I'd call, I'm so damn sick of internet messages". I continued to sob. A comrade in communication at last. "Me too", I managed to choke out. It took me a few minutes to compose myself, no longer used to talking in real time...the pressure was tremendous, but I managed to carry on a conversation. Boys and girls it was purging!
I hung up satisfied, not stymied about whether it was time to "twitter" again or check to see if I was rejected/accepted amongst Facebook "friends". Oy! I miss the days of my powder blue princess phone. Call me.
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AND, the worst thing about all this "improved" communication in the "information age" is that nothing, or hardly nothing is being communicated.
"I did my laundry this morning." The Twitter world needs to know that!.
The way the news is going anything can make the papers. "Little Johnny Jones got a nose bleed playing in his back yard. One of the neighbors saw it and called the police. In 15 minutes John's mother was being hauled away in her pants and bra. Bye the time she got to the jail two lawyers were fighting over who would represent John in a law suit against the mother and father. The loser is now representing the mother in an indecent exposure charge. John was awarded $1,000,000 by a California judge and he got $16,000,000,000 from the Federal bail out funds.
Thirty four now impoverished actors are claiming John is their son - 115 lawyers were battling over who would represent them. Unfortunately little Johnny was last seen wandering down the street with his full diapers swinging behind him."
The New York Times said "this never would have happened if Bush was not so busy fighting Iraquians and Nancy Pelosi was the president. Lastly, David Letterman said the mother was a slut and Johnny knocked up the neighbors daughter - which is why she called the police in the first place."
Well, that's all the news tonight folks
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