SELL! BUY! SELL, SELL, SELL! No buy! It's a good time to buy. But wait ,I'm nervous, I need to sell. Anything. Everything. Cash, I should have cash. I rip my wallet open; crap, not enough to make it to 5:00p.m. I look around my office. Anyone want to buy my stapler? I'll throw in extra staples. The tv, how about the tv? It has a very nice flat screen and could fit in a large purse. The dog looks worried as I glance over at him . He stays even if it means my giving up being a blond. I send a quick email of apology to my colorist. Is this "trickle down" economics I wonder? Frantically I decide to expand my sell-off and run madly from room to room placing post-it notes marked "stays"/ "goes". The living room suddenly looks too yellow .
I'm confused and realize I need an economist to help me . But which one and do any of them make house calls? No two agree or have the same rescue plan which makes my head spin. Can anyone count to $700 billlion? I've done my homework trying to understand the financial crisis. I can use "asset backed securities, bundles, commercial paper and liquidity in a sentence, maybe even all in the same freaking sentence but my nerves are still jangled. Ben Bernake, Hank Paulson right now my dad looks smarter than either of you...he has piles of cash under his bed . Wow dad, your long term financial planning has finally paid off!
Well the good news is the crisis has taken my mind off of the election. I really, really needed a debate break. I haven't thought about Sarah Palin in days which has helped my digestion and allowed me to cancel my therapist. Nothing quite like global bankruptcy as distraction. In the meantime I've got to get back to my selling .... or should I be buying?! Please call me asap if you know.
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4 comments:
Sell, sell, sell. I am going through the same situation. This weekend I looked all over my house and realized that there are things that I have that I don't need, use, want or even remember what made me buy them. I got my digital camera and took pictures or them and posted them on craigslist, who ever invented craigslist is my hero. Lets see how much I make ther and maybe, just maybe I'll become one of those e-bay business women. Mama needs new shoes!.
That was good. You are less good at political blogging than just being funny.
I think that when she was "political blogging", she WAS funny.
Now that you are in a total state of confusion, the market must be at the botton for at least the next 100 years. When everyone has finally sold everything they have to sell, as seems to be the case, all there will be left to do is to buy, buy, buy.
I'm getting ready to buy.
By the way, you are funnier when you are non political blogging. Note I said funnier.
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