Going on a date is just too much work. Do men realize how much effort it takes to get out the door in order to have a drink with them? Which is why I never offer to pay. I really have no idea why I accept an invitation because inevitably when the time comes I just want to plop down in a chair with a glass of wine and veg out in front of the TV. "Crap it's 5:30 I have to start getting dressed." This is a laborious process. I have to shower and wash my hair which takes forever to blow dry. If I want to go curly I have to put in rollers and....I want to stay home. Should I shave my legs in the shower and wear a skirt or not bother and wear pants? This looms large. Yes, shaving means both legs which really gets tiresome. Where's my wine?
There is no way to expedite getting ready (although once I stopped myself short of blow drying my hair in the bathtub when I was running late). The labor doesn't cease after showering. I can't go out in public without a little make-up. Unfortunately this requires looking at myself very closely in the mirror and then I really want to stay home and drink. Back to my hair which is starting to frizz and wave so I have to drop the mascara and immediately blow dry. What should I wear begins to haunt me. I stare over at my closet knowing I don't have much from which to choose. Are jeans too casual? Is a skirt too dressy? Should I look sexy and wear a tank top under a jacket? Or cover up and look conservative? High heels? Flats? Crap I forget if he's short or tall . I longingly wonder what's on TV. Time is running out and I'm conflicted, confused and still have to tweeze my eyebrows.
I decide on my skinny jeans with a t-shirt and black blazer - hip yet classic. Flats in case he is under 5'6" although I love heels so that makes me sad. I put on lipstick as I run out the door so lord knows how that looks. Suddenly I remember the most labor intensive part is ahead of me - being on the date.
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4 comments:
"Hi. So you're Gail. You look just like your pictures" - [another one who doesn't look anything like her pictures but pretty enough- hell of a figure].
"Yes. I am" [what the f&*# is he look at and I thought his hair was all red]. A booth would be fine [but don't sit next to me. Oh shit he's going to sit next to me - no wait oh he's just hanging up his coat].
I'll have that salad but I want the dressing on the side .......
And, un autre histoire begins. Ce la vie!
You got it right.
Dear Gail...
When I was in my 20's I spent hours getting ready for a date. I have wild curly hair so back then I wanted NO CURLS so hours of drying my hair or ironing it (which btw Babs taught me how to do that when I was knee high to a grass hopper)Then I spent hours thinking what should I wear? Blue jeans? Black jeans? White Jeans? then hours picking up what kind of shirt, then the shoes, then what perfume, then what panties (to me panties are very important but back then Victoria Secret was not in my budget, thank goodness for my pay checks, maybe I should buy stocks on Victoria Secret, I've made the bitch rich.) so many choices and so little time to get ready. Shaving has never been an issue, I love shaving, I know, I know I am strange. What did I learn from all that? I learned that I stressed out on what to wear to look great for my date and then it turned out that 2 hours later I would be begging to leave that date, go home, take all my clothes off, get into my shorts and t-shirt and never go out with that person again.
How did I fix it? Well I cut my hair, just wash, put gell and let my natural hair flow with the wind. What to wear? Ok I do take my time deciding that factor but I no longer have or wear white jeans, so now it's between blue and black. I am a tennis shoe freak, I probably have over 30 pears of Converse and 20 of Adidas and yes I love them.
I have learned that on the first date I will smell pretty, I will wear what I want to wear, after all, my clothes are not what makes me, my personality IS what attracts people, ok and my baby blue eyes and my laughter and some say I am cute (I know this because every F*&^%G Bitch I've dated has told me that) So if I do like the girl and I do want a second date that's when I will take 2 hours to decide what to wear, after all, 1st date is to get to know that person's life, mind, wants and don't wants and the second date is to impress her so I can get to 2nd base hahaha..
SO don't stress, they either like you for who you are or they like the Label you are wearing.
With Love,
Dr Ruth
Anonymous : I know only to well the date of which you speak...funny isn't it?
Dr. Ruth: I can't believe you like shaving your legs...wow and why? Oh and I agree with you after an hour I wish I was home in my boxer shorts and t-shirt and fluffy pink robe. It's a process isn't it? Kissing all those frogs or just even going on one date with them!
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