Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Dinnerless Dinner Date or Hey Buddy I'm Hungry!

My last post "Going on a Date is Hard Work," agonized over the labor of pre-date preparation. HA! Today boys and girls I'm going to tell you how in truth that is the easy part. I went on a date that I've actually given a title - "my dinnerless dinner date." It left me surprised, cranky, and hungry. Meeting at 6:00p.m. at a restaurant I assumed meant food was involved. Wasn't that logical? I went through all the work of getting ready: showered, shaved both legs, washed my hair, put on make-up , tweezed both eyebrows, tried on three outfits until one finally made me stop crying, and looked in the mirror one last time which scared me but was necessary to make sure no tags were hanging out. I definitely was looking forward to drinks and food.

Next wrong assumption - if your date is sitting at a table and not the bar that indicates a meal. We ordered drinks and chit chatted. The waiter came and recited the specials. I listened like my life depended on it, my date seemed to be paying attention but shooed him away and said "maybe in a little while." Huh? A little while? I was starving and broke out into a small sweat. I called the waiter back and begged for bread in order to remain conscious. I ate the entire basket. I repeat, I ate the entire basket. Wasn't that a hint or did he hope I was full? He ordered another round of drinks but never picked up the menu. Ok, I should have said something or just grabbed the menu and hailed the waiter. I remained silent believing that was more polite. Yes Mom, sometimes I have manners. I was probably delirious.

Two hours later he asked for the check. The breadbasket was empty, I was crashing from carbo loading, and he thanked me for a nice evening. I had one last thought before I fainted - "were we on the same date?"

7 comments:

Renee said...

I am so glad I'm not in the dating pool. I'm sure I'd have made an ass of myself. But by god, he'd have been made the bigger one.

Anonymous said...

You should always carry a bologna sandwich in your pocket.



but not the same one.
neil

gail maria said...

Yes siree the dating pool sucks Rena.

Neil: I hate bologna I'm assuming I can bring turkey?

Dr. Ruth formally known as Viking Jen said...

Dear Gail

OMG! What a cheap guy.It only shows that his bank account is so low that after paying for drinks that night he went on a H2O binge for weeks because you drank all his money... Man! Women should NEVER be treated like that.

I would have said something like "umm if you are not hungry why didn't we just meet at a bar after I had my nice warm meal at home?"

I don't know how old that cheap ass was but I can tell you that at his age he should know better.
DR RUTH'S ADVISE TO IDIOT CHEAP LOSER GUY: If you are taking a women on a date and you don't want to eat DON'T FREAKING SIT AT A TABLE, SIT AT THE BAR and please ask her "would you like something to eat?"

Bet you he's been single for a while and probably his last woman left him because she was paying for every meal.. Cheap dates are a waste of time, unless they are drop dead gorgeous.

I would have ordered something from the menu and if he asked for a bite I would have slapped his hand and said "oh Hell no dude, apparently you weren't hungry 5 minutes ago, here's the menu after all, you are paying".

See guys; learn a lesson, if you ask a woman to meet you at a restaurant ORDER SOMETHING FROM THE MENU. If not then It's WAY too obvious that you want to get her drunk and get her in bed.

With love
Dr Ruth

gail maria said...

I can't believe I didn't open my big mouth because it's not like me to be shy and quiet. I guess I thought it would sound rude and then if I ordered I'd have to pay. We know how cheap I am and never want to pay! You're right again Dr. Ruth. Bless you and thank you!

Dr. Ruth formally known as Viking Jen said...

Bless you too my child...(hahahaha I've always wanted to say that to my older cousin)..

With love
Dr. Ruth

Perry Block said...

I would never have treated you like that, Gail. I would have ordered you all the Chinese noodles you wanted!

You were in a Chinese restaurant, weren't you? I mean, we're all Jews here, right?