Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Twitter or Neiman Marcus?

 I'm a "Twitterholic." There I've said it. Yet strangely I don't feel any better, but itchy to get back to it.  Yes, I'm the same person who thought "Twitter" was a neurological condition and anyone who "tweeted" should seek immediate medical attention or take up residence in a bird sanctuary. I felt inept, lonely and useless because I had no ability to participate in the new "social media" world. I could barely figure out Facebook. The pressure of finding "friends" made me anxious and break-out. What if you have no friends? Or just three and they're not Facebooking -is it a new verb? What if you have a page that's blank except for your lone photo? OMG what is worse than that except being back in high school? And what about the pictures and photo albums everyone posts? I'm a photo album loser and don't have a digital camera. My last camera was a Brownie.

I had to take serious stock of myself. If I couldn't Facebook how could I possibly join "Twitter" a site that demands you express yourself in 140 characters. "Hey, I have a lot to say I absolutely refuse to shorten my sentences and write in initials or emoticoms. As fate and horror would have it my literary agent Laurie told me I had to hightail it into the 21st century join Twitter and have followers. It sounded scary and oddly liturgical. Martini in hand www.gonepausal.com joined.

I've become a Twitter junkie. It's fun, it's easy and who needs 140 characters? It's too many. I can now express myself in under 100. Sometimes I have 130 left over. I wonder if you can sell them on eBay? I have 450 "followers" so far and thankfully they never want to come over. I'm tweeting with people I've never met from countries I've never heard of. It's endlessly entertaining and time filling. I can barely pull the Twitter needle out of my arm long enough to walk the dog. He hates Twitter. I've stopped longing to go shoe shopping. The Mother Ship, Neiman Marcus calls to me from right up Michigan Ave. but the Twitter force is strong. Thankfully I am weak and want shoes more than emoticoms.

8 comments:

Terry said...

i like it!

Renee said...

You have so described my Twitterdiction. Thank God, I'm not alone. I must have the fixes at least hourly.

I've even learned to ignore some punctuation in order to stay within 140. It's hard, the women in my family were born to the Grammar Police. (Hope I haven't made too many grammatical errors. My great-grandmother may be watching from above)

gail maria said...

Renee: I totally feel your pain/addiction. In fact I'm cutting this short so I can go "tweet." Thanks for commenting. See you in the bird sanctuary.

Anonymous said...

I got hooked on booze and like sex but the communication era is still a question for me. So many places to say stuff and so little stuff being said. "I made my bed this morning." "I blew my nose while on the phone and now can't get it clean." "Try White Tornado. It got my phone clean, unfortunately melted it. "My husband said, "but it's clean honey and that's what counts. "" (am I tangentiating with " signs?) "I was talking about my nose."

Along with the benefit of all the information on the internet and found through the genius of Google there are the people to people sites like twitter, facebook, etc.

Reluctantly I agree there is even some good in those things but they're hard to find. One is that some people rise to the top by getting a bizzilion followers. Another one is that people now waste time on the internet for free and not browsing Michigan Avenue stores.

Usually when people get something new and different they overuse it, then settle down. I don't see an end to this one for some time to come.

Keep getting people to follow you. You're funny and should begin making $ on it.

gail maria said...

Thanks anonymous. I agree it's all getting out of hand. Do people actually ever meet in person and if they do, are they on the phone or actually talking?

I'd like to make $$ , nice vote of confidence

Cindy (Prime Beauty) said...

So glad I found you! I've gone pausal and am addicted to twitter except it hasn't kept me out of Nordstrom (my boonies version of Michigan Ave.)

Will sign up to follow!

gail maria said...

Cindy the Nordstrom shoe department is calling me! I may pull the twitter needle out and head up there. I love shoes! Thanks for following me. Menopause can be funny.

Viking Jen Jen said...

OK, I missed something very important... I am in the wrong profession. I should have been a psychiatrist with focus on twitter/compulsive shopper/alcoholics, by now I could have been a millionaire. I wouldn't need an office cos I could have done it through Faceboook or twitter or text. Damn! Why didn't I think of that profession 2 years ago?. It's no longer a 13 step program is now a 100 character program.
THAT'S IT m charging 80.00 per text and it's unlimited.
Now I have something to confess I VIKING JEN am a Facebook addict but refuse to break up or make up over text and I WILL NOT GET INTO TWITTER... AND i AM A TRUE BELIEVER THAT JUST BECAUSE IT IS A FAMOUS STORE DOESN'T MEAN I AM GETTING A GOOD PRODUCT. And I will NEVER be seen wearing high heel shoes, AND I will never been seen wearing a dress (unless is a costume) AND I will not EVER eat at Taco Bell. And I will not stop having sex unless I die but I want to die having sex