I am directionally challenged, in other words, I always get lost. When I have to go somewhere new I take copious notes on how to get there. I make little arrows and never abreviate words so as not to get confused later. I never understood how to use a compass back in the "stone age" of my youth and could only determine "North, South, East, and West because I knew that Lake Michigan was East. I pretend I know where the North Star is. My car does not have a GPS which I always confuse with an APB. I do however, know how to "Mapquest." Ha!
Recently when I was visiting my son in Seattle I boldly decided to take his car and venture into downtown to meet a friend . I was nervous and realized there was a chance I could end up in Idaho. I "Mapquested" the directions and clutched them in my sweaty hand as I drove. I was desperately looking for the first turn off the highway... and looking and looking. Uh oh, I began to realize I had gone too far as the giant cruise ships to Alaska were on my right and I had lost sight of the skyline. I knew I didn't want to go to Alaska because I hate snow and had to get off the road. Crap. I wildly drove back towards the city - or so I thought. When I ended up in the parking lot of Safeco Field I was screwed and 12 hours early for the game. I then did what no man dares to do,
"Excuse me, sir, could you tell me how to get to ...." I jumped out of my car and asked for directions.
I was back on track - but not for long. Five minutes and six blocks later I was lost.
"Excuse me sir, could you tell me how to get to...." Yep, I jumped out again. I stared with awe and wonderment at the guy who whipped out his iPhone for directional help. For a delusional moment I dreamed I could learn to use the slick little phone and then woke up.
I only got lost twice getting back to my son's apartment. Sadly and shamefully , the second time was in his parking garage.
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Easily one of your better ones. When I traveled to the company branches in the US and Canada it was always a heart thumper back to the airport. I couldn't admit to the branch employees that I didn't know my ass from first base when it came to directions. So I couldn't leave what I considered 'enough' time to get to the airport - one day.
When I asked how much time I would need I got, "Oh. Not more than 45 minutes - an hour at the most. Just follow the signs. Can't miss it." Everyone knows what that means.
In my opinion a good sign to the airport has a picture of an airplane and "Go left here Neil." But they said "Hamtramic 4 miles" or sometimes "alternate route to airport". If fate was playful "Bridge washed out ahead."
The most fun was when the airplane pic was on the right side of the highway and shortly after the turn it was on the left - 6 lanes left and it was almost always rush hour.
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