My friend Charlie approaches finding a mate like a job interview. I think this is a little harsh as not everyone gives good "interview." I happen to be a great interview and not so good once I get the job. Go ahead and ask my ex-hubbies. I think don't think they'd provide me with a letter of recommendation. F##k 'em if they can't take a joke. Charlie on the other hand, takes his hiring process very seriously. He's just short of handing out a questonnaire like you get in the doctor's office.
"Charlie darlin' don't you think it's a little pre-mature on the first date to ask someone so many questions? You don't take their blood pressure do you?"
"I think it's good to know right off the bat whether we have compatible life styles." Hmmmm and girls beware I think it's like the dreaded "pop quiz."
"Well what's on this life style list?" I was curious to see if I would pass or fail because I'm the competive type.
"I need to know if they're still working or retired. I'm retired so I can't be tied down with a woman who works and can't travel. (Uh oh I've got one wrong already. )
"Ok, what else is on the test or ah hem , 'interview' ?"
"There's the dog vs. cat issue because my dog doesn't get along with cats. That also begs if she like dogs because I'm not getting rid of "Hobo." Well I'm on his side. Ixnay to dog haters. My "Beefy Boy" stays - dog haters go.
"Common interests, are big, he continued uncoaxed. Absolutely no golfers because I don't play and they tend to always be out on the course. And I can't tolerate the endless golf talk."
Personally I don't play golf but like to watch the game on TV, so I don't know if I got the question right or wrong.
"I also want to know if they're a morning person or a night person. I'm a daytime guy and don't want to start the day at the crack of noon and be up until all hours." Two wrong for this girl. I'm rarin' to go anytime after 11:00 a.m.
"Any more biggies for your unsuspecting victims.... I mean dates?"
"Compatible sex."
"Well that's not a question. Isn't it more like an action verb?"
"It's good to find out quickly. Why continue if the sex isn't good?"
"I'm curious.....do men ever think sex is bad? (this is a great question, isn't it?)
"I once broke up with a woman in bed. (I think I lost consciousness for a second) She didn't move. Just laid there. (Was she filing her nails? ha ha, old joke) I told her right then we were not going to be a match."
I have no idea whether I'd pass or fail that last question. It's personal not business. I can't help but wonder if Charlie has the right approach. Maybe I should work up a questionnaire and hand it to a date...it would save a lot of conversation and I could file my nails.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Hello Darling!!! I'm BACK!!! And yes I will go off on this one because I agree with Charlie... When young then we don't have to be picky because we don't really know what we DON'T LIKE, we all know what we like right? Most common likes are: Must be funny, attractive, intelligent, romantic, have a job, be nice, good kisser and so on so forth, the we grow up and realize that ALL THAT is ALL GOOD but there are too many people who already do that but what they don't do is enjoy the out doors, play, like karaoke, knows what "ME TIME" is and respect that in his/her partner. Likes Mexican food, likes to dance, sing, road trips, swim, play in the water and yes "So what kind of sex do you like?" I don't do quickies, I don't do boring, and if she can't have an imagination about life and sex then she's not for me darling.
I've had a "LIKE LIST” for years and it's nice and detailed however when I was single I made sure I focused one the "WHAT I DON'T LIKE LIST" when I went on e date yes they know I love water sports so they always had something "Cool" to say about that but what about I don't like selfish people, or people who pick their faces and then look at the zit? its' cool if she loves to water ski, jet ski, play water polo but then if she finishes the talk and goes for the "check out my zit thing? Oh honey honey honey SHE'S O-U-T. Of what about the one who tells you she loves karaoke but when you ask about her friends "Oh I don't have friends, I had one last week but she did so and so and she is a psycho" people that say they have met many "psychos" are PSYCHOS THEMSELVES they just blame it on the rest of the world.
SO Charlie, keep going with your list, just make sure to add a list of "what I don't like and won't accept in a life partner",
And that's my advice...
I would have failed. Which could be sad if 2 people really like the person inside. The rest is negotiable.
Although, if ever I was single again, I think I'd just like a man that could survive in the hall closet to be brought as needed. For whatever.
Renee: I totally love your idea about the hall closet. To be taken out as needed is genius. Do you know such a man? If so send him my way.
How do I get my picture on my responses like you girls do. You're all more advanced than I. I'm glad Jen Jen is back. Her thoughts are good too.
I have met a girl of two who gave good interview. The problem was they gave it on the first date and they gave it on all first dates.
I think sex is important. It should be discussed with honesty, even though it does not have to be discussed in great detail. I embarrass easily. The essential issue is do both parties enjoy sex. If not, bag the deal after dinner before it's too late..
I spoke too quickly about details. If one thinks once a year, in the dark, fully dressed, eyes closed, teeth gritted and fists clenched represents a good sex life - revert to the last sentence in the last paragraph.
OR, the other extreme is no good either. It's usually the man's choice, of once a day in a brightly lit, fully mirrored room, involving high style gymnastics with jumping, and pumping, and bumping and humping and GOD KNOWS WHAT ALL!! Although in some of those cases the women can leave in the middle of the event and not even be missed.
In the final analysis both parties should come to the date with audited papers, family history, current occupations, health records, psychiatric profile, balance sheet and profit and loss statements. Apres, just be themselves There is no need to overdo this thing, only 50% work after marriage anyway.
I probably would have left the "date" at the first sight of the clipboard. ;)
This interview looks like a good way to score one night stands.I mean, if I put my mind to it, I can come up with a list of questions guaranteed to end the relationship after the first date. If you looking for the long term, I think some of the important things are missing.
1. Can you demonstrate a three point shot in a hamper with a ball of socks? Can you do it every night?
2. Toilet seat. Up or down?
3. Forget between the sheets, how are you under the hood of a car?
I'm just sayin'.
I love your criteria ms.Tyler - very funny and fabulously practical. I especially like the two points into the hamper and under the hood accumen.
You're on target in my world.
Anonymous_ thank you for nice "welcome back" Been busy.
Renee- hmmm careful with what you say, honey let me just say that if you were single again, you’d just like a man that could survive in the hall closet to be brought as needed. SWEETHEART, IF A MAN IS IN THE CLOSET AND COMES OUT HE COMES OUT BABY and let me tell you, if he comes out of the closet chances are he is GAY.
batyler65 you crack me up.. and GREAT QUESTIONS... However, can you demonstrate a three point shot in a hamper with a ball of socks? Can you do it every night? HUH? I guess I didn't pass that test cos I have no earthly idea what that means but I am great under the hood of the car and between the sheets too and I can do both at the same time.. ok no I can't and I've never tried. hahaha.
Just know that 99% of the people you date are not for you and you have to look for that 1 person who will be.. However in the mean time enjoy sex, practice interviewing and ALWAYS as for medical records when it comes to AIDS, HIV and other kind of STD's.
I'll just keep dating who I'm with, keep being the horny bitch that I am and always stop drinking afoter 22 beers and 5 shots of tequila (no just kidding on the alcohol but I am officially a horny bitch)
Post a Comment