"To sleep, perchance to dream"... hold on there you wacky Prince of Denmark, if you could fall asleep why can't I? I don't have nearly as much on my mind as you did. I have mother issues but not as serious as yours. Mostly Mom wants to know what I'm wearing, where I'm going and who I'm with. She's also obsessed with a "facial mask" I should apply for my wrinkles but I'm sure your Mom wasn't as pesty about appearances. Of course you also weren't worried about a mortgage because you lived in a big old castle that was paid for. No loan defaults in your world right? I'm guessing you didn't have the rising cost of health care about which to wrack your brain, and my nagging dilemma of, "to get a colonoscopy or not to get a colonoscopy"? No wonder I can't sleep. Hamlet, dude step aside.
What happened to the days when I woke up at the crack of noon? Granted I was 17 but I had stress then also. Was my blue Villager sweater back from the cleaners, did Roger like me or Joby? Crap, I forgot to finish my alegebra homework because I couldn't figure out the difference between x and y. On a more serious note did my parents notice the car smelled from cigarettes? Sadly, I wasn't invited to the Senior Prom but had a dress picked out. Tragically and worst of all I had a giant zit on my cheek. Face it those were real sleep busters, but regardless I dozed away. Lights off I'm dreaming like that wack-a-doodle Prince. Btw, Roger liked Joby ...I was crushed yet sleepy.
I listen to the commercials for sleep aids with the melodious voice over enticing me , "Come with us to a calm, peaceful, full night of sleep". "I'm coming, wait up, here I come" , I cry out to the TV. "Take me with you"! I long for sleep ... and oddly my blue Villager sweater.
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I heard you're getting a bloody blood sample taken today - by nurse Jody. Rumor has it that she also has a part time job giving colonoscopies at Walmart but since she's only a nurse she cannot administer drugs for the pain. If that doesn't make you sleep, it should at least make you faint for a couple of hours.
While you're sleeping you will dream, "Dear, Are you asleep? Some boy called. Wanted to take you to the senior prom. Oh yes! The cleaner put a hole in your prom dress and your sister ran off to California with your prom shoes - or was it all your shoes? I can't remember these things. I am 920 you know. Did you know, Dear your father figured out how ti take it with him. Isn't that wonderful? He's so smart.
Yours Truly
Jay, Prince from Denmark? (that's with a jewish accent)
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