"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this any more"! Howard Beale "Network"
Wine by the glass is too expensive! I'm sick of paying as much for a glass as for a bottle. Has anyone else noticed this bar/restaurant sleight of hand? Come on we're in a recession not the roaring 20s. I'd like to see a glass under $7.50. If by chance it is cheap we're not talkin' a tasty drinkable red or white, we're talkin' toxic waste. This financial crisis hurts my taste buds and wallet. I remember when a nice Pinot Noir was $5.50. Not any more babycakes. Got $9.00? I don't. Now I madly search the menu for a wine I can afford and don't care about the color, just the price . Tears well up in my eyes realizing beer would better serve my retirement. I hate beer and put my head down on the bar sobbing.
It was like a dream come true when I discovered Malbec; Argentinean, lovely and cheap. I stopped crying. At $6.00 a glass I could once again fantasize about retirement. I spotted it on enough menus to keep me happy, high, and able to leave a tip. I smirked as my friends ordered the expensive Pinot while I mumbled my Malbec order so they couldn't hear. The grape was mine alone. I rue the day someone said "I'll have what she's having." Curses. My secret wine find caught on and now it's at least $7.50 a glass. "I'll have an Amstel light."
My friend Jane turned me on to Reisling. I thought the grape was for wine wimps, losers with unsophisticated taste buds and restricted sinus passages. I was too good for the poor little grape BUT it was the cheapest glass on every menu. I could learn to love again and retire. Now I need your help. Please, I'm begging you order the Malbec.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I have some ideas that might help you.
First stop throwing drinks in the face of the guy next to you at the bar. Accept his comment about your nice ass with grace. Alternatively, slap him - it's less expensive but problematic in that you might hurt your hand. He might not be a gentleman and knock you off your stool. Going back first to the floor with your legs up in the air is unladylike even if you have new Garmanies at the end of them..
Ask for wine with ice in it. It makes it last longer. Problem - you'd be better off with a glass of squeezed out bar rag for which they only charge two bucks.
Wear flats to the bar, get a guy to buy you wine. When he tries to get you up to his room use the flats to run like hell.
Lastly, try abstinence on the rocks. It's light, not at all fruity and leaves no bitter after taste. And, you won't be laying on the floor with your feet still on the stool.
Gail... First I am sorry I have not been posting on your blog, I have been way busy playing on facebook, I am still your fan and I do have a solution to your wine problem... I found this one line just for you.. It is a CONCEALABLE FASK. The perfect solution to hiding your booze. We all know that a football game isn't as fun without a few cocktails to get you raved up. These days, you cant go to a restaurant and order a drink and there goes your monthly salary, and you certainly can't bring your own. Strap this portable beverage flash around your waist, and you will have the best fanny pack full of your favorite wine... Here is the thing, a glass of your favorite wine at a restaurant $9.00, a glass of cheap crap wine $5.99, a concealable flask PRICELESS...
WARNING" 1) don’t let the bar tender see you... 2) don't let the next table see you and 3) Whatever you do, if you have filled it up with red wine, Don’t let ANYONE put a hole on it, not good since it's like a fanny pack...
I wouldn't dare take this to a restaurant but then I can pay for a 10.00 glass of my favorite wine, but it's ok.. I rather have a 10.00 shot of the best tequila and then flirt like a ho and get a bottle of champagne from her and then run like hell, that's IF she's not cute, if she is cute then I will pay for the cab to the room.. hahaha.. But that’s just me….
Post a Comment