Thursday, September 3, 2009

Labor Day or laborious day?

No, no, not another holiday weekend! These are a special kind of torture for me. PRESSURE, I can't stand the societal pressure to use a grill. A grill must symbolize something, but what? It also begs blowing up the house by mistake. If I had a handy dandy barbeque I'd have to invite people over which requires cleaning and appetizers. This sounds less and less like a celebration and more like pergatory with every added chore. Shouldn't a holiday really be where you sit around alone in a messy house, read back issues of "People", eat potato chips out of the bag and drink wine from a plastic cup? No cheeriness required. This also eliminates the risk of ptomaine/salmonella from nasty yet traditional holiday foods like 8 hour old cole slaw , undercooked chicken, or the dreaded hot dog on a stick. What's in a hot dog anyway and why a stick?

Is there a parade on Labor Day, I can't remember? Although this year with such high unemployment I can't imagine there would be many marchers. As well as it being potentially dangerous for the lone employed person walking down the middle of the street waving a tiny flag. I'm not a parade person even in a low unemployment economy. Although I do like one that has a giant inflated Mickey Mouse and Willard Scott.

Crap, the looooong holiday weekend looms ahead ... I feel the tension rising. Should I lock the door, pull down the shades, break out the back issues of "People" and hope I have enough chips and wine to make it to Tuesday? That sounds so right.


Anonymous said...

HUH? I'm a retired male living alone in a big house. What's a weekend?

Malarkey said...

Ah, but this is only because you hate entertaining. How to fix this: make sure you get *invited* to parties, rather than giving one.

I LIVE for my 3 day weekends. I wish I had them every week!