Monday, September 28, 2009

Why did I burn my bras?

There's been an anthropological switcheroo! I just read according to the General Social Survey, which has tracked Americans' moods since 1972 women are getting sadder and men happier.  What happened? Why, why, why are we gloomy?  We fought so hard for liberation, please tell me we didn't burn all those bras in vain? Bras are so expensive now what was I thinking. More importantly, why did we want to become men when they never signed up to be more like women? That was probably a mistake. We've morphed into a new combination species. It's exhausting to be a man and woman simultaneously which is probably why we're down in the dumps. Instead of just cooking, cleaning, and raising children like our mothers.... we now go to work eight hours a day, cook, clean, and raise children. Wait, did I mention trying to keep a marriage or relationship on track also? Whew, I'm sweaty, exhausted and yes, too tired to have sex.

Men, on the other hand, seem to be happy with this switcheroo. Just a reminder however; separating the colored and white clothing really is essential , as pink, orange and light blue aren't a fun surprise with a brown skirt. But pedicures sure are nice aren't they? I want one too, but just can't find the time. I have friends I never see, older parents who need a ride to yet another doctor's appointment, a limping dog, aging horse, no food in the refrigerator, a tooth my dentist wants to yank, a $5,000 medical deductible, and a neck that's sinking faster than I am.

Wait a sec, a new neck and jawline would make me happy, but I'd have to work to 115 to afford it. Crap. Maybe buying some bras will perk me up. And can someone remind me why I ever set the old ones on fire?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That is tough! Being a business woman, mother, housewife and man's personal whore. Today's woman must be one busy bi#%&.

My friends and I began a movement for men that involved burning out jock straps but one guy forgot to take his off first and the hospital attendants asked us to begin a simpler movement.

A little sweaty sex would do us good but we can't get our wives to cooperate. Best we can do is try to nail them while they sleep but most of them set traps. One guy was the victim of an elaborate 150 pound swinging tree branch that knocked him off his wife and through the window.

While we understand women's plight we are not too crazy about this situation either.