I have to face it dating over the age of 55 is a huge freaking bummer. Sadly there is not even one lone "hottie" left in the demographic. And humbly I include myself in the "not a hottie" population. Wasn't that a fun part of going out? Remember the mind boggling, take your breath away chemistry?! Today chemistry only reminds me of a class I dropped junior year in high school. Now a man with hair and not looking like they swallowed a beach ball is a date to remember. I've come to prefer the shaved head look, as it's far better than three or four greasy strands draped across the top. Hot or not? How about hearing aids , are they a turn on? I remind myself it's better than yelling across the table. At least those men want to hear what you're saying. Is that the new "hot?"
I went on a date with a man who talked the entire evening about himself, non-stop. Every sentence began with "I, I , I, I". I think I fell asleep. He didn't notice. Hot or not? But he had hair and no hearing aids...good date/bad date? That's tough and a very close call. My friend Jay says, "It's a numbers game, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs". I was very bad at math so the idea of numbers makes me sweaty . And frogs conjure up the image of some biblical plague for which I'm not vaccinated and would need better health insurance. On second thought are frogs good listeners? Jon tells me I'm too picky, although this advice comes from a man who only wants to date women less than 105 pounds with small breasts. I consider his remark and think his options are limited and jail bait. Jon, wake up! And put the Twinkie down if a thin woman is high on the priority list as she won't be a big eater. Ixnay to double standards big guy.
I don't think dating via "frog kissing" is for me, although I did get an A- in biology, and my teacher was a hottie. Now he's probably bald and hard of hearing or deceased. Is it too late to try and pass chemistry?
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3 comments:
Gail...your blog today would be really, really funny, if it weren't true: thereby, making it really, really sad. Do you think Jon wants to meet me. I'm under 105 lbs. with very small breasts! Hold on...did you say "double standard"? (or is it ...?") ...does that read, "Jon has a big belly"? Sorry, Jon, not interested.
Hearing aids, bald head,...what about wrinkled neck? Speaking of which, I look so much better without my glasses on...when I'm looking at myself in the mirror anyway. There's so much I want to blur out.
Love your blog, Gail. Still smiling inside, too.
I know some 55 year old men that have hair, no hearing aid and are good looking, are they not any like that in Chicago? Maybe you should try a cowboy in Texas. Demi Moore married a young man and they seem to be happy, why can't you go for a 40 something year old? Some 40 year old are good for dating... You think you have it hard when it comes to dating "over 50 year old men"? Try dating over 50 year old women.. OMG, Men go bald and deaf? Women decided to bring out ALL their baggage and try to date you and then you become their psychotherapists. You think men don’t listen? try talking to a 50 year old woman who is going through menopause, who is dealing with the ex that cheated on her 10 years ago and who are so insecure that if you dare talk to some woman they think you will run away with them... I too had a crush on my Biology teacher and I was so nervous to go to her class that I skipped it for a year, 15 years later i went to a party in Dallas (I went to school in Mexico) and who was there? my gorgeous biology teacher with her girlfriend, my teacher remembered all about me even though I never went to her class so did that mean that she had a crush on me too? See men have an excuse, they are well known for not having good communications skills, women don't have that excuse so why the heck didn't she tell me she had a crush on me (if that was the case) and we would still be together (doubt it since I have come to the conclusion that I am not good a long term relationships) but at least I would have had my way with her, I think I still have a crush on that bitch..
SO Gail here is my advice, don't be too picky when it comes to age, if a man who's 30 asks you out, GO, they are great lovers, they last longer in the bed chamber than a 60 year would, their equipment is still strong willed AND they don't taste like a frog, they might taste like chicken but not frog, frog is too slimey, why kiss a slime mouth? yuk!...Moral of this story.. Men or women, whichever you date, if they are over 50 years old they will be a pain in the ass no matter what...
About the Chemistry? Who cares about chemistry, it changes after the hot and heavy sex days are over... If the man looks like a scientific experiment RUN!.
Your post is so humorous. For me personally I could not date men who are over 50 years old, bald and needs a hearing aid..hehe unless he is like Pierce Brosnan.
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