HELP! With only 9 days to go in 2008 I haven't even gotten started on my New Year's resolutions. Ok, ok, I'm a loser, but I still have time. If I do nothing between now and Jan 1 but focus, focus, focus, maybe I can get them all in under the wire. Thank God weight loss wasn't on my list because I'm hungry. Btw some of my resolutions were "iffy" like, "I could spend more time in the grocery store" (note the word "could"). Ixnay to that one, I do not feel like buying a last minute holiday ham. I didn't "whine" less, because that's simply impossible and I'd be unrecognizable to my friends, so whhhhhhhhhy would I do that?
There is no way I'm drinking less wine; I've decided that would be stupid. Cheaper yes, but absolutely no fun. Now here's a biggie and I'm certain waiting to the last minute, makes it impossible... a colonoscopy. I'm the hold-out in my peer group. It seems to be a really popular event and sadly I didn't get to participate in any of the lively colonscopy banter this year. Now, I bet all the docs are on vacay,and it'll have to wait until 2009 or 10 or 11. I confess I couldn't kick the "All My Children" habit. "Erica, I'll never leave you". I would kill however, to know the name/phone number of her plastic surgeon. It's no fair she never ages and I do.
Ah ha! There is one last 2008 resolution that's possible to acheive....sex in the kitchen. It's on everyone's, "places you've had sex other than the bedroom list", except mine and I resolved this would be the year for the addition. Hmmmmm, I have 9 more days and it doesn't require grocery shopping.
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2 comments:
Loved the colonoscopy banter! T.K
Skip the colonoscopy and go for the kitchen. But, be careful - not all kitchen tables are born equal.
Wait a minute, depending on your sexual proclivities you you might get both of them in at the same time.
Don't give up the whining. Whining has a certain historical value particularly with Jewish people. You got your Moses with his famous 10 Jewish whines. Your Solomon with his temple of whines and you got your Salome who whined someone's head off.
Plus whining has gotten many women to Miami.
I'm afraid I have to go. I have a lot of kitchens to visit before the year is out.
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