SEX! Sex! Sex! Sex! Jeez even that doesn't get anyone's attention at the moment. I bet the porn sites are wondering where everyone went. There is nothing on the national collective consciousness except Sarah Palin. Ms lipstick on a bulldog, hockey mom is everywhere, on every mind. Sa rah, Sa rah, Sa rah!!! I can hear the chanting. What's up with this? Britney Spears is off the cover of "Us" and Sarah's on. Is she the Republican candidate for Ms. America? Is that what we want, a Ms. America Vice President? That's freaky... but I like Joe Biden's chances in the swimsuit part of the competition. Personally I thought John McCain was a more serious dude. Didn't all those years in a prison camp scare the crap out of him? And now he's trying to scare the crap out of me? Thanks pal.
It's 3:00 a.m. , the phone rings in the White House and it's not about a pepperoni pizza delivery. It's about China, Iran, Iraq, Pakistan, Russia; SPIN THE WHEEL AND PICK A COUNTRY. Who answers? Ms. America Sarah. Yep, I'm betting she's on the line. Whoa, I'm a little nauseous and have lost my appetite for pizza. I sure hope she's been "briefed" enough. But wait, she was Governor of a sparsely populated state and before that Mayor of a tiny, tiny town. Oh yeah, now I'm feeling a whole lot better, thanks.
Ok, I'm angry, but don't have a gun, so relax. I've noticed we're all pissy about this election. It's bringing out the worst in everyone. I'm becoming a misanthrope by default. I've decided to only talk to people who agree with me, that way I can stop popping Xanax, clenching my teeth by day and grinding them to a pulp at night. The only emails I get anymore are highly charged political diatribes which are too long to read but I agree with them. The debates should be really really interesting. I wonder if Sarah will wear a hockey jersey or swimsuit? I plan on watching them alone after I remove all the sharp objects from my house.
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2 comments:
I completely agree with you... B.T.W. Tweezers and plastic forks if you have them around remove them... In my case, I’ll be drinking wine on a plastic cup, I can't go for the dozen plastic wine glasses sold on a bag for $10.00 because they do have sharp edges. Stay away from them… On another note, Ivan will be hitting Galveston TX tonight and Houston’s weather sucked all day today with lost of rain and dark clouds... Dallas was nice, sunny and humid however tomorrow Dallas will get 12 hours of pouring rain and gust winds at 50 M.P.H.…Not to worry I have a battery operated radio where I can keep up with the Ms. Palin (while I drink wine of course)…Politics and the environment ha, what does she know about the environment in the South?
That was funny. No kidding, it was. As a man I wish that I had written it. Then you could blog about stupid men. You could say "just because a woman has good looks does not mean that she can not also have brains and a successful track record at 44 - and be the mother of 5 children. This is too serious - isn't it?
Not too many years ago women supported other women and when men hid their insecurity behind humor, usually dirty and not funny humar women would find it and stomp it to death.
Too bad you didn't aim all that humor at a place where it would have some value.
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