Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Blow-up dolls never talk back

Crap, my friend Jack's found the "perfect" woman... again. How many times have I heard this? I can't count that high anymore. "Don't say that, I lecture him. You just met her, don't use the perfect word". (It's the kiss of death). "For God's sake, , everyone is still perfect after two dates, unless they pull a gun on you". He pretended to agree , "I know, I know, you're right" he demurred. He was lying . He really wanted to think he FINALLY found perfect. Ouch babe you're 65 the gene pool is shrinking fast. I'm guessing in three weeks Ms. Perfect will be, "she was too short, fat, tall, religious, Republican, critical, or a really bad driver". Take your pick. Trust me it will be something. "Bad driver" was last January.

Jack, Jack, Jack how many times do I have to tell you, no woman is perfect. Thank God, because then you're talking blow -up doll. Although... they don't get fat, have bad hair days, controversial political opinions or unbearable religious convictions, but you would have to do all the driving. Oh, and you can pick their clothes which he would like. As for real women, give us a break and find a replacment word for "perfect". I for one would love to have "no bad hair days" but I cringe at the thought of someone thinking I'm perfect...which they never, ever do. I think "pain in the ass" is my title. Perfect, is a set-up for one ill spoken word, bad outfit or chipped nail and you're outta here. Next!

The truth is anyone seeking perfect really wants to be alone. And hey, there's nothing wrong with that, just don't blame it on someone else.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Another great blog - good humor and this time with a message - no preaching just a subtile message.

Unfortunately we men have but two real dreams - which are more important than being rich, good looking, smart and president of the United States - 1) the perfect woman and 2) the perfect piece of ass. Alas, even if either did exist they could not exist together in the same human. I, and most of my friends never met a woman who LOVED unbridled sex was and wasn't at least slightly crazy. Besides, we concluded if we found it, it would scare the shit out of us.

But, still the dream goes on. Talk about the fall of man. Keep blogging we love to read them.