Friday, June 25, 2010

Tales from the Queen of Gridlock

CRAAAAAAAAAP! I mean OMMMMMMM! It's summer and every single solitary road I take is under construction. I'm the Queen of Gridlock. Cars piled up for miles in every direction. I make a quick u-turn to escape and curses, I'm not only stuck again but lost. No, I don't have a GPS but I do remember the lake is East. Except I've driven so far off the lake I am convinced South is East. Unfortunately I never hung around the Girl Scouts long enough to get a "wilderness badge" so I'm challanged on any survival techniques I might need if I'm in the car a minute longer! I did sell a lot of cookies however. Craaaaap, get me out of this traffic! Beefy Boy doesn't care how long we're stuck as long as the air conditioning is on and he can nap. I wish he could drive so I could take a Valium.

It took me 30 minutes to drive 8 blocks up Michigan Avenue. Even when the lights turned green I couldn't move. "The freaking light is green for God's sake....go!" Nope. I desperately tried to remember the words from my friend Jamie Lerner's peaceful wonderful book "The Ever-Loving Essence of You"(www.jamie-lerner.com) where she explores the option of enjoying what's going on around you as opposed to fighting it. Ok Jamie I took your advice and decided to take a deep breath and study the advertisement on the bus sitting next to me. I spent approx. 41 seconds lovingly reading about shinier hair before I started screaming. I was moments from getting out of the car and jumping up and down in complete and utter frustration. OMMMMM! I might however, try the hair care product when I calm down enough to shower.

Yesterday I was stuck in gridlocked traffic so close to home I could see my apartment. So near and yet so far I burst into tears. I thought about leaving the car and walking the rest of the way but couldn't wake Beefy Boy. It took twenty minutes to turn the corner - I was sweating , swearing and had developed a rash on my cheek from nerves. Like I said "craaaaaap....I mean ommmmm."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jamie is right. The up side of all that was you were paying for the work through the stimulus bill. You should have been thinking of all the families who were eating at your discomfort.

The only way out is to inhale deeply from the exhaust fumes of the bus in front of you.

Dennis said...

Your dilema is exactly the reason I left all the hustle and bustle of the big city behind. I traded in the horrible gridlock fraught with fear and loathing for 3 months of intolerable heat. I do get 9 months of bliss with no traffic, no mind bending tension and very little emotional upheaval. The rewards of living in the desert far outweigh the meager advantages of the "big, bad city". Come back to the desert Gail.
DJ in PS