Uh oh, next Wednesday night at 9:00 my TV addled brain will have to go "cold turkey." Crap, I might have to go outside and play. It's season finale time once again. I've already reluctantly said good-bye to the wacky women of Wisteria Lane. They always look so neat and clean, I have no idea why they're desperate. They'd hate my baggy gym shorts and Target t-shirts. I'm also way too flat chested to live in their hood. "Brothers and Sisters" ended badly for a few members of the hyper neurotic, self obsessed Walker family. Truthfully I will miss Rob Lowe - he is a total hottie and I looked forward to drooling over him every week. Maybe he'll come back from the dead. Sally Field doesn't annoy me as much as she annoys some of my friends but unfortunately she does remind me that both of us need a face lift.
Be still my nerves and heart as I watched two hours of a killing rampage on the Grey's Anatomy finale. Crazy man on the loose with a gun and in his path is McDreamy?! "No, for God's sake don't shoot the cute guy." How many cute guys can I lose in one season? As for our little Meredith, she was willing to take a bullet for her man - wow and can't say I would have done the same thing. The most devastating is yet to come for poor TV addicted me - the final two hours of "24!" I'm not ready. I feel weak and my blood sugar is dropping rapidly. "Don't take Jack Bauer from me. Fox Network, I'll do anything , including watch Fox News!" Jack has had another exhausting, bloody, life threatening day in which he will once again save the country and world. I can't wait for Monday night and simultaneously dread it. Emily, I'll be calling you by hour 23 for emotional support.
As fate would have it this year I became an American Idol junkie. Curses! I can't explain how it happened, probably boredom on Tuesday night, but I got the fever. Next Wednesday at 8:00 CST I will finally know - WHO WILL BE THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL. It's down to my two favorites: the little hottie Lee or the Janis Joplin like Crystal. I'm a wreck. Adria voted 6 times for Lee last week. I refuse to text in my vote - too expensive. Next year I must be careful to never be home on Tuesday night or I'll have to go into TV re-hab. And so another season is almost over and I'll have to find a life. I'm available for parties and ship christenings.
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2 comments:
What's this "hood" stuff? I thought post menopausal women spoke a classier language. Plastic surgery - I'm expecting to hear "going for a haircut and pedicure - think I'll stop for a face life or new boobs on the way home", any day now.
Stop drooling over the hotties between you the that drooling golden the two of you will ruin the carpet.
Sure you'll watch Fox news if they don't take away Jack but will you watch Sean Hannity or Cable Marketplace?
I'll let you know if I hear of any good parties. How far are you willing to travel?
Well, there's always America's Got Talent which has the acerbic brit - Piers Morgan, the facelifted Sharon Osbourne and the aging hottie from Baywatch and Night Rider - David Hasselhoff. Oh Yea I almost forgot - the aging hottie has left for greener pastures to be replaced by a funny, germaphobe Howie Mandel. Well, at least I can keep my texting skills from getting rusty until next season's Idol.
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