I'm boycotting Starbucks. It's either that or go into a 12 step program for "buyer's remorse," which I don't think the Betty Ford Clinic recognizes yet as addictive or risky behavior. Sadly I beg to differ, as a trip to my local Starbucks yesterday made me spend a few moments alone in the car holding my empty plastic cup and feeling dangerously remorseful. Why you ask? Please ask. It was hot, I was thirsty and had time to kill between the Dentist and the Dermatologist - where I was NOT getting Botox. I stopped in Starbucks for a drink. I couldn't decide what I wanted and the barrista asked over and over , "Can I take your order?" The pressure was killing me. I had no clue what I wanted because the drink menu is in an enigmatic language they didn't offer in school. I started to get a little nervous and sweaty. Since I didn't have a quick answer to her persistant line of questionning I considered leaving - but felt it would be a sign of personal growth to stay.
"I'll have a tall chai tea latte with soy milk," I finally blurted out. Oy, I was one of those crazy people who had to have special milk. I checked to see if I had a fever.
"That will be $3.71," she said and smiled. I stared. Was it too late to leave? $3.71! Huh? And should I have called Ben Bernake? Interest rates are at 0% , how could my tea be so freaking costly?
I think I turned a soy milk shade of white as I reached into my wallet for the astronomical sum. I ordered tea not drugs. I felt like bolting for the door .... but paid. The barrista handed me my drink and I left with my head hung in financial shame. But before I even reached my car which was parked right outside I had finished the drink. Three teenie tiny sips on the straw and presto chango all I had left in the cup was ice. All the precious chai tea and special milk were gone. Vanished! Three itty bitty sips and there was only ice? I'm bad at math but I figured I had 50cents worth of chai and $3.21 worth of ice. I thought ice was free? I sat in my car contemplating going back and demanding a re-fill or making an impromptu "Boycott Starbucks" sign out of a scrap of paper I had in the glove compartment and spending the rest of the afternoon marching in front of the store. The nostalgia of picketing almost got the better of me but I opted for buyer's remorse.
In an effort to cheer myself up I saved $1.00 by taking back roads home instead of the tollway.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Try Grande Unsweetened Passion Ice Tea. Only $2.16 unless you are lucky enough to live in Lake Forest with Mr. T where it only costs $2.10.
I don't think I would try that grande unsweated passion tea, iced or not. It might have gone straight to my head and caused me to rape any clerk that had the temerity to smile at me.
Frankly, I would have contemplated filling the cup with some harmful explosive, like a "dirty" bomb from somewhere in the middle east and dumping it through the window while yelling "Allah Ackbar" or whatever they yell when performing their sacred right of brotherly religious murder to appease their loving god.
Oh! Wait a minute Starbucks was founded in Seattle? Well, it didn't come from the middle east so I would have to settle for another oil spill or something less profound. Maybe 10 straight years of rain so the founders would lose their minds and drown themselves in Unsweetened Chi Tea/Passion Ice Tea combination.
Or maybe I would just stay out of there with their silly names and skip the prison sentence. I'm probably just mad that I didn't think of the idea of sour coffee with silly names.
Here's the problem with your blog Gail. People don't know tht you are from royalty. They don't know that your uncle Morrie invented Cheez Doodles in the Bronx.
They don't know that your cousin Robbie coined the phrase, "Give me Cheez Doodles or give me prune danish." Oh Wait that was your mother. He said, Give me Cheez Doodles or give me pretzels."
Anyway you have to get this out. People like celebrities and especially royalty.
Post a Comment