Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Sex, Prunes and the Sahara

Recently on a Match.com date a 76 year old man asked me if women over 60 still want to have sex.  Btw , just as a warning he stated on his profile that he was 66; funny math I'd say.  And men protest that women fudge the numbers! Geez. Hearing his query I had to wonder if he was having a stroke or was that his best "line" to get me in bed. Should I rip off my blouse and jump up yelling "yes, yes, yes I will prove we do" or call an ambulance?  I stared to see if his mouth was drooping as he continued to explain that his friends have told him menopausal and post menopausal women turn into shriveled up prunes drier than the Sahara. Hmmm his friends are well traveled and constipated. He also cited that he had never slept with a woman over 60 as his ex-wife was 20 years younger than he.  How's that for seduction?  Hot or not?

Mother Nature does play a cruel trick on women. Just when the kids are gone or we finally have some free time for hot sex our hormones say "hasta la bye-bye." Desire still reigns, but so long to dewy skin, thick hair,a waist line, a good night's sleep and yes, lubrication. Ouch.  I admit I wasn't prepared for this sleight of hand and shock with no "awe" seemed to be my future. To add insult to injury Big Pharma flooded the market with Blue M and M's (Viagra).  The years men were supposed to be in sexual sync with women were poof(!), gone in a nano second.  Prescriptions in hand the old guys came roaring back to life. A veritable stampede of bulging stomachs, balding heads, neckless, chinless, and wrinkled men were wondering if I was a dried up prune and if so, out of their way as younger models certainly were anxiously awaiting. Got big bucks boys?

Apparently my prudishness has become prunishness.  Armed with my game changing personal version of WD40 I would definitely say "yes" if I met an age appropriate man to whom I was attracted.  It's a lot like the vast empty desolate landscape of the Sahara out there in my man land.  Prune danish anyone?





1 comment:

Jen Jen Pinto said...

I thought that One of the cool things putting yourself on a dating website is that you can funnel the ones that are idiots and keep the ones that are half idiots and find the one that is not an idiot. Before I met my beautiful wife, which was on plenty of fish.com, I came across hundreds if not thousands of potential candidates that could take a look at my heart and mind . Yes there's a bunch of Looney Tunes, golddiggers, crazy people on dating websites. Either the photo is not them, the age that they put is not there, they tell you that they are very physically fit and when you meet them there physical fitness is compared to a barrel of barley. So in the beginning, and this was in the year 1999 or 2000 that was the first time I went into a dating site. In other words you're talking to somebody with experience here.
As I was saying, when I first started in the website dating jungle, I was pinging anyone to look good, anyone that I had a funny comment, anyone that said hello. Due to this I met Crazy people, liars, people that are so needy and need somebody so desperately that they will fall in love with a broom wearing a skirt. So I learned my lesson. I figure out that there was a chat room connected to that dating website. And use that chat room to basically interview every single person that pinged me. I made myself an interview questionnaire and every single person who I was interested in or they were interested in me they all got the same questions.

I've got to admit, some of them were such great liars that they even passed my 45 question interview and when I met them I even asked him but I asked you this question and you answer this question like this and now I'm asking you again and you giving me a different answer.
A bunch of them were not even hireable to even spend two seconds with me.

What I'm trying to say is this, before you meet him in person you should chat with them a little bit either online, on messenger, over the phone. This would eliminate all of this hassle that you're having

And my last question to you is, why are you still on match.com which is really the worst dating website out there. A bunch of freaks are in it. Try plenty of fish.com it's free it's great and that is where I met my perfect match.

Unless you want a free glass of wine and dinner that you know you will get even if you decide to meet a horny guy would glassy eyes.
Just sayn