Thursday, July 7, 2011

R.I.P. My Prada Purse

I love my purse. My Prada bag goes with me everywhere and is one of my prize possessions. It is simple, beautiful, a leathery work of art and I did not pay retail for it. That would have required a bank loan or second mortgage. Fabulous and on sale it was a dream come true. Sadly regardless of my coddling and caretaking it is dying. My Prada bag is fading fast. The corners are ripping badly and no one can save it. I've thrown myself sobbing on the counters of shoemakers and saddle repair people from Chicago to Southern California begging them to bring my bag back to life but alas no one has hope. "Please save my precious Prada bag. Don't let it die." It's days are numbered as loose change will be falling out of the corners very soon. With dread in my heart I have to find a new love.

I thought my Mother, the Imelda Marcos of purses, might be able to console me in my despair. I don't understand why she needs so many as I love only one.
"Mom, what could possibly go with this?" I queried as I pulled a chartreuse leather clutch off a shelf in her closet.
"You know I forgot I had that, but I must say when I bought it the color was very popular. It was from Neimans." She snatched the purse out of my hands as if I would somehow damage it and put it back . There were so many piled up I had to save her from a large black purse falling on her head.
"Oh I love that bag, it's a Fendi you know," she remarked as I grabbed it out of the air. (No, I didn't know as I'm not in the purse "know.")
"Do you want it dear, its a Fendi," she repeated as if I didn't understand the significance of her offer. " They are very expenisive." And once again she repeated she bought it at Neimans. Mom must be the Warren Buffet of their purse department. Her Fendi bag was bigger than my Yellow Lab and for that matter my Mother. "No thanks you keep it," I said my head hung in handbag despair. It paled to my Prada.

I turned to my friend Adria for help. She told me she has approximately 75 purses. "Oh I rotate them with my winter and summer clothes. I have to bring the purse bins up and down from the basement every season." Excuse moi. Bins? Filled with purses? I was way behind the handbag curve in my peer group. I loved only one and she had bins. I felt desperately confused and wondered if there was anything more I could do to prolong the life of my Prada bag. Where will I go, what will I do and how much will it cost me? I fear it is only a matter of days until I will have to venture forth to Neimans, Nordstroms, Bloomingdales, Saks and perhaps as far as Bergdorfs to find love again hoping because of Mom I have a gene marked "handbag."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

No you have a sense gene. It just keeps on saying " You have one - you have a few. You don't need anymore." "You need money. It never goes out of style but it does tend to deteriorate the more the government gets into industry."

Prada is a myth. Bloomingdales is a myth. Neimans is a myth. Listen to this, THEY ARE ALL MYTHS!!!!" They re nothing compared to the thrill of getting to the other side of the jump perfectly. Putting on a snug skirt and sweater going out to dinner. Then looking at the women who shop at Neimans for very loose clothing so one can only imagine how big they really are.

You know I speak truth, little one. Burry the purse beside a bush on the side of a hill overlooking the LA Freeway, next to the indian with the tear running down his face. Na haya mini tunka. Whatever.

Frances said...

You mentioned that the corners of your handbag were already ripping. This is probably a result of usually placing your bag on the desk or floor with heavy items. To preserve your bag as well as the next bag you're planning to get, you can purchase a handbag hanger so that you won't need to place the bag on the desk or floor any longer where bacteria and germs could easily get at the surface of your bag, causing deterioration.