Dear Gail Maria:
I like my boyfriend John but, to be honest, I'm much more intelligent than he is. He only went through high school and doesn't read much. Our conversations are stifled and at times he makes me uncomfortable in front of my friends. What should I do?
Thanks,
Miffed Michele
Dear Miffed:
I totally feel your pain. I'm smarter than most men also. Even ones that finished high school and college aren't necessarily intelligent. Perhaps it's because they think more about sex than culture. You know, the little brain/big brain dichotomy. That teenie weenie brain of theirs doesn't like to read or carry on an interesting conversation, if you catch my drift. As for making you uncomfortable in front of your friends, who I'm assuming are highly intelligent women, I say INTERRUPT him every chance you can. Trust me no one will notice. You might be hard pressed to find a man who meets your intellectual standards so I say hang in there and talk about transmission fluid or lawn mowers.
Sincerely,
Gail Maria
Dear Gail Maria:
I need help! My life sucks - I'm aging (if not already aged), I'm in a relationship where I'm making the most money, I haven't had a vacation in 3 years and my dog doesn't love me anymore. Any advice?
Best regards,
Unlucky Lucy
Dear Unlucky:
Your life seems like a good old country western song. I can hear Reba McEntire singing about it now and you might want to write to her also. First of all girlie trust me I know what it's like to age and it sucks, so you have reason to be concerned. And Lordy, Lordy if you're making more money than your man I say head for the hills. Who needs him if you're bringing in all the cash? Get out while you have any elasticity left in your skin! If he expects you to have sex too...smack him. As for your vacationless 3 years and a dog who doesn't love you...pack up asap and take the pooch. Relaxing on a pearlie white beach will be a good time for the two of you to re-bond. Run sister, run!
Sincerely,
Gail Maria
Dear Gail Maria:
I recently went out with a woman who I was only mildly attracted to. We ended up having sex. When I left she asked when we would see each other again, and so I felt pressured to make another date. The truth is however, that I was stupid to have had sex in the first place because I didn't really like her. It was casual and I should never have let it happen. Now I want to break the date, but worry about hurting her feelings. Should I be honest and cancel or go and then tell her? Looking for your guidance.
Thanks,
Awkward in Ann Arbor
Dear Awkward:
Ouch babe! When will men ever learn that for women it's not casual, it's personal. "PERSONAL" I say. Casual sex has been out since the last time you took a hit off a hash pipe. Poor dear. Well, at least you got the "stupid" part right...yes you were. Next time turn your horny wayward thoughts to baseball or a new power washer from Home Depot. As for the date, break it. So much better than the hideous moment you mention to her during dessert, as she's eating a yummy creme brulee that you're not interested in a relationship and she has to spit it out or choke it down . Nasty either way and risky unless you have a reliable dry cleaner. I suggest next time you click your Cole Hahns together and say "there's no such thing as casual sex, there's no such thing as casual sex".
Sincerely,
Gail Maria
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5 comments:
And, I would like the telephone number of the lady in the middle.
GREAT BLOG VERY UNUSUAL
As an advice columnist, YOU SHINE! Could it be you have found your calling? We who have been around for half a century need your advice in this dating world!
From one man's point of view. In order of unimportance.
Beginning with the intelligent girlfriend who is a bit of an insecure snob. She must have that opinion of her girl friends or she would not be embarrassed. If she loves the guy figure out why. Perhaps she's in it for the sex, in which case there should be no problem with her friends - unless of course she takes them to bed with him.
As for the casual sex guy - nothing added to what you said would enhance it. The last sentence is very, very funny.
I would like the phone number of the aging lady with the boring boyfriend. I'll continue on with your work on her.
OMG Gail Marie, This is it! You found your nitch.. I LOVE IT!!! Dear Abby move over because Gail is here!!!... You got it Gail, this is it..
To add to your great advice Gail, here is my input on their Dear Gail Marie questions..
Miffed Michele- Honey, just because someone didn't go to high school doesn't mean a thing, life sometimes teaches more than any school will teach.. I think the problem with your man is not the lack of school or reading, the problem is that the only "stiff" thing is your conversations and not what you really want this man for.. Make him your boytoy, he has to be good at something right?
Unlucky Lucy..
Honey.. Seems that not even your imaginary friends wants to talk to you anymore.. You are not aging, you are just not doing things for yourself.. Don't blame your lack of vacation and abundance of money on age woman, get a life, a cat and go on a singles cruise somewhere and while you are on the cruise ship, jump overboard but put me on your will first and I'll take care of your dog I promise...
Awkward in Ann Arbor.. Seems like this is the first date/sex you've had in your life.. ALL women will ask you if they can see you again after you have sex with them, Women are not dogs man, men are, so here's my advice, next time when they ask you "if you will call, see, text, e-mail them" just say, sure. Someday, like next millennium.. You already got what you wanted.. Hope you used protection man cos if not a baby could be the cause of her calling your ass and then you will have to take her out for dinner again...
Hope my advice helped.. Gail is like Paula Abdul, I am Simon, rude and blunt? But then again I've known Gail Marie since I was born hahahaha...
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