"Here comes my 19th nervous breakdown"

I was on the verge of a psycho-technological breakdown.... the 21st century replacement to the good old fashioned, "nervous breakdown". Wasn't it easier when family or life events drove you crazy? Instead I pound on the keys of my computer screaming because I have so many entry codes I can't remember which goes where. No, I do not have anger issues! I have "user name" and "password" dementia. I have no idea who I am on any given web-site. Was I an animal, vegetable, mineral, or my date of birth backwards the day I joined? "Artichoke" sounded familiar because I'm a vegetarian and like them, but I also like fruit and tried watermelon both flashed, "password error" and I burst into tears. In personal defeat I clicked the loser option, "forgot your password". Of course I forgot my freaking password, I have approx. 2,000 . I'm drowning in names and number combinations all for the sake of internet security. How could someone steal my identity when I can't even remember my own name?

It was 9:15 a.m and I was on the verge of destruction. I put my head down on my keyboard and tried to take a deep calm breath, but I was wheezing and had begun to itch.  Who was I? I know I wrote it down....did I use capital letters or all lower case?  Oh no, was this site "case sensitive"? Whose idea was "case sensitive" and are they on a watch list? I needed a cabana boy with a tropical drink. I needed a Xanax. I was at the top of the steps considering jumping ( there were only two). I've typed in every name I could think of and the web-site said it wasn't me. IT'S ME, IT'S ME; who else would it be, for God's sake, or was it?  Even I was confused.... I was having a psycho-techno meltdown.

Should I call for help? Is there a hotline for people driven to insanity by their computer? If there is, would I need a user name and password?