Seattle, Salmon, Andy and Luis, Oh My!

No! No. NO! It couldn't happen. I survived eight states, 3 chicken caesar salads, two nights on 100 thread count sheets, and just when at long long last I reached my Seattle hotel room, my cell phone died. Dead. Doa. I burst into tears and threw myself on the bed in a fit of despair. Why me? Why now? Why why why when all I wanted was a piece of salmon?!?! I was soaking wet and in a towel when I made this shocking discovery. Crap. I can't live without a cell phone. It's the 21st century, I needed to communicate 24/7. I found myself screaming "I hate you" at the dead object. After I regained sanity I grabbed a pair of my ratty gym shorts (that are never supposed to be worn in public), pink flip flops, the shredded t-shirt I sleep in and ran down to the lobby dressing as I went. All bets of propriety/decency were off.

The concierge found the nearest AT&T store for me after I promised to finish putting on my clothes. I jumped in a cab , clutching my old cell. "I never dropped you! I kept you dry and away from large bodies of water, and this is what I get"?! I crossed two lanes of traffic and ran into the phone store throwing myself on the mercy of the man behind the counter. "Luis" was calm and thankfully didn't have me taken away in an ambulance . "Help me Luis! I need my phone numbers, my messages, SALMON"! He was so patient and I was so nuts. An hour later I left the store with a shiney red phone, a pile of re-bate paper work and his card. He sweetly told me to come back if I needed assistance as he'd be available nightly until 7:00.

I loved my new phone. It was sleek and had a lot of useless options. Most importantly I was back in the world of 24 hour communication. Except....the phone got hotter and hotter and HOTTER every time I used it. I felt like my hand was going to catch on fire. Was my little red phone a "weapon of mass destruction"? I hightailed it back to Luis at 6:45 the next night. "Andy" was at his desk? "Where's Luis, I cried... I need him, he promised he'd be here until 7:00"! "Luis had to go home to his wife", Andy calmly responded as he watched me sweat and pace. "But what about me"?! Who cared about his wife, it wasn't 7:00 yet! Andy patiently heard the tale of my little red "WMD", nodding patronizingly. He nicely took the phone from my hand and replaced it with a new silver model. "Can you set it up like Luis did", I whined. But Andy was on to me, " I bet you're pretty good at getting people to do things for you. I know your type". Hmmmm little Andy must have been a psych major. He was right but I liked him anyway.

I'd been in Seattle for two days...I had two new cell phones, two men who I thank for not calling the paramedics and no salmon.