I Love Wine and to Whine

"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this any more"! Howard Beale "Network"

Wine by the glass is too expensive! I'm sick of paying as much for a glass as for a bottle. Has anyone else noticed this bar/restaurant sleight of hand? Come on we're in a recession not the roaring 20s. I'd like to see a glass under $7.50. If by chance it is cheap we're not talkin' a tasty drinkable red or white, we're talkin' toxic waste. This financial crisis hurts my taste buds and wallet. I remember when a nice Pinot Noir was $5.50. Not any more babycakes. Got $9.00? I don't. Now I madly search the menu for a wine I can afford and don't care about the color, just the price . Tears well up in my eyes realizing beer would better serve my retirement. I hate beer and put my head down on the bar sobbing.

It was like a dream come true when I discovered Malbec; Argentinean, lovely and cheap. I stopped crying. At $6.00 a glass I could once again fantasize about retirement. I spotted it on enough menus to keep me happy, high, and able to leave a tip. I smirked as my friends ordered the expensive Pinot while I mumbled my Malbec order so they couldn't hear. The grape was mine alone. I rue the day someone said "I'll have what she's having." Curses. My secret wine find caught on and now it's at least $7.50 a glass. "I'll have an Amstel light."

My friend Jane turned me on to Reisling. I thought the grape was for wine wimps, losers with unsophisticated taste buds and restricted sinus passages. I was too good for the poor little grape BUT it was the cheapest glass on every menu. I could learn to love again and retire. Now I need your help. Please, I'm begging you order the Malbec.