The Economy May Be Sagging, but You Don't Have To!

Who wants to be part of a special "group rate" face lift with me? Oh come on, it will be fun. I'll have everyone over for a "kiss your old face good-bye" party...and yes, I'll pay for the food and alcohol. I just read in the New York Times that with the economy collapsing so is the cash cow business of plastic surgeons and dermatologists. Some of these docs are now running specials. Wow, it's like a big sale at Bloomingdales, or last call at Neimans. Let's go, go, go. If a face lift sounds like too huge a plunge how about all those fun face fillers that are so freaking expensive? A little plump -me- up, before lunch? Or Botox for breakfast? There's a doctor in Duxbury Mass. doing a two-fer; two syringes of filler for the price of one. I just fainted (needle phobia). Well, just pick me up off the floor and fill up those nasty naso-labial folds.

See, economic collapse isn't so bad, if you can get 20% off on cosmetic surgery, right? Even if you don't need any facial work it might be the perfect time to perk up your gravity plagued breasts or tuck the tummy. Sucking in my stomach sure gets exhausting and push up bras can be so damn uncomfortable. I hear opportunity knocking. My mom might want to join us....never too late even at 90 to try and look 80 again. My group offer does not exclude men. Oh, you're out there with those big mid-life stomachs. Listen up, they are not attractive and women do notice! To say nothing of the lines you think reflect "character" or the turkey jowl neck. I say it's time for you too!

Who's in? Let me know asap.